Oh, my little popettes, one of the folding doors on our linen closet came off its track. Putting it back is no big deal, it is, in fact, one of the household accomplishments I am capable of. But this one resisted my best efforts. I did everything right, in the right order, in the wrong order, in no order and it still wouldn't fit back in. Finally I resorted to my favorite technique: shrieking like a little girl and smacking it with my fist. Turns out I'm gay. So now we not only have a door off its track we have a busted door off its track. Life is so hard.
My husband could fix that for you... he is good for something. Just ask.
ReplyDeleteI happen to know he gives you shots, big shots, speaking of shrieking like a little girl....
ReplyDeleteOh I can fix that for you. Youse guys got a chainsaw?
ReplyDeleteYou need to shriek just a decibel more girlily. That's the secret, I've found.
ReplyDeleteShrieking usually works for me, but then I throw in a stomp, too.
ReplyDeleteDear one, if you are going to shriek, then one must place their hands firmly on their hips when doing so. It prevents things like this from happening.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Those stupid rolling closet doors were invented by Satan's minions.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know your own strength, Dearie!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteMiss J occasionally LOVES to throw a hissy fit herself. Unfortunately, a cracked door (or some other cracked thing) is the usual result.
ReplyDeletePlease post a photo of you coming out of the closet.
ReplyDeleteIt's just one thing after another with you, isn't it!
ReplyDeleteSo my hubby is an engineer & I'm a housewife. By the time he gets home from work in Palo Alto, I'm so made I've smashed the disloyal piece of apparatus (see, the thing is is, malfunctions are personal), so it's even harder to fix.
ReplyDeleteI am the fixer/builder in my house. A screw driver( or perhaps in my case, a shrew driver) would have pushed that mother back into place. If that fails, a .9mm works fabulously.
ReplyDeleteThings like that can really push a person over the edge. I find myself swearing at inanimate objects, like today, when my Russell Hobbs spat out brown juice all over my white 'Fortuny' bed linen, I could have shrieked then, but instead, I called it a "Cheap fucking minge" and lobbed it in the bin, yes, whilst it was still hot, which then began to melt and stick to the black bin liner inside and now I'm without an iron.
ReplyDeleteA hahahaha! This keeps happening to my closet door too and the fact that it keeps getting repaired and then breaking again is the bane of my poor hubby's existence. We are going to Ikea for sliding fabric panels instead, the closet, for now, has won.
ReplyDelete