Saturday, September 25, 2010

Adventures in the Kitchen

It's been a whirlwind of cooking around the ol' Chez today. A lovely, rare warm day that we didn't want to waste by being productive, so we just laid around, sluglike. Wandering through the kitchen, though, I noticed some pears our friend John had brought over were at the very peak and demanding to be dealt with. What else can you do with insolent pears except poach them?

Scouring the bar only turned up the dreg ends of a bottle of white wine and one of brandy.
Further, more determined digging turned up an odd bottle of Kirschwasser (cherry brandy) and a tall skinny one of pear liqueur. How do these wind up in one's cupboards? I promise you, I never went out shopping for a bottle of pear liqueur in my life. And yet, this afternoon it certainly turned out to be handy.

I'm pretty sure there are no recipes that include the directions "Root around in your liquor cabinet until you find enough of anything to cover the pears and then go to town." Ha. A little cinnamon, a little nutmeg and voila, deliciousness.
Sloppy, but yummy plates.

We're having friends for lunch on Sunday, which is also supposed to be hot, so I've made vichyssoise, a dish I can cook, but never spell. It's just potatoes and leeks with cream, and I went a tad bit long on the leeks, but it seems to be terribly tasty.

What is it with leeks anyway? I often cook with them, but every time, I act like we have just met. "Perhaps these attractive vegetables will not be filled with grit and dirt and a quick rinse will suffice in cleaning them," I think. Fooled again. So tomorrow we will sit down to a lovely luncheon of potato and leek and cream and dirt soup.

Random houseboy.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Goin' to the Chapel

We went to a wonderful wedding on Saturday. Heterosexually speaking. Just because my queer brothers and sisters cannot join me in same sex wedded bliss does not mean I am boycotting boy-girl unions when good friends are jumping the broom, and that was just the case here.

It was a wonderful affair, you should have been there. The bride was lovely and her dress was the most beautiful one I've ever seen. It was held in a small Marin county town in a really swell little club, a sort of arts and crafts building surrounded by huge redwoods and charming grounds with very unstructured flower beds. Sometimes it really pays to live in northern California.

We got to hang with our good friends, including some from Arizona that we never to get to see enough (hey Brit!) The groom is a rocker drummer dude, so the music was odd, but amusing. When's the last time you heard Rush at a reception? Huh?

All in all, a good time was had by all, hilarity ensued, etc., etc....

Fun weddings. Just another reason to struggle for marriage equality. Although that reminds me, our tax guy told me last April that I had to pay more state taxes because R Man and I are married. Bastards.

Friday, September 17, 2010


Avast ye scurvy dogs, Sunday Sept. 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Blast me off the poop deck! There's still time to score a sweet little pirate patch and one of them smart tri-corns.

I expect Gulf Coast Buccaneer and International Mr. Nude Infomaniac, Mean Dirty Pirate, will be swinging his cutlass, if you know what I mean. If you don't, go ask him, I'm busy studying up on pirate lingo at the talk like a pirate site

I've already nailed my favorite phrase: "Prepare to be boarded and surrender yer booty."
It seems like it could come in handy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Have you ever had burrata? It's a fabulous Italian cheese, fresh mozzarella filled with more mozzarella mixed with cream. To recap: cheese stuffed with cheese. And cream. It is utterly creamy and delicious, as are so many Italian things (see below.)
We had it as a salad tonight with juicy little tomatoes bursting with tomato-ness. There were a number of those moaning type noises one hears when the food of the gods is passed around. Mmmm. Burrata.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Roll 'em

Our DVD player is dead, or meditating, or sulking, or something. Whatever, it's not working right, occasionally denying a DVD is wedged in its little slot despite demonstrable evidence to the contrary. My theory is it's offended by my using this photo in the header here a few days ago.

Sometimes it plays, sometimes it won't, so now besides trying to find a movie R Man and I both are interested in (a difficult enough proposition,) I have to include the DVD player's sensibilities in the decision making process. "Animated? What, are you six years old? Do you want a pony for Christmas, too?"

Maybe it's feelings are hurt that I only watch porn on the computer. The petty jealousy of household appliances. I don't think I can stand it.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Sparkle Neely

Working our way through yet another sad little thrift store and disparaging their so-called goods, Diane and I ran across a rack of bridesmaid dresses. one of which defied our attempts to figure out which side was the front and which was the back. I mentioned once again to D that if I were a Lady, that is, a Person with a Vagina Lady, I would always dress in second hand bridesmaid dresses, and not ironically either. They fascinate me as a kind of art piece. When Diane explained one purchases these gems at shops, legitimate businesses, I was floored. I had always assumed one had to have some little elf run them up for you.

Aside from a wardrobe consisting solely of shiny magenta, coral, peach, fuscia and the occasional teal, I would also have boxes of glittery, glitzy bijoux.

My lips would always be lacquered a brilliant red.

I would totter round town in Barbie doll heels, the sluttier the better.

My hair would be a model of restrained good taste.
I am undecided on the subject of bags.

I would, in short, rig myself out just like a style-deprived drag queen. I see Ladies tarted up pretty much like this every day on my to work, so I would fit right in, and besides, if I had to put up with Lady plumbing and its inherent wacky hi jinx (did you know Midol is just Tylenol, and caffeine? Imagine my disappointment, I had assumed it was some magic, secret elixir. Thanks a fat lot Wikipedia) I would have to demand some polyester based glamour.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I Got a Party in My Mouth

Dinner tonight was a festive salute to my white trash heritage. A friend had brought us tomatoes from her garden up in Napa, where it's actually hot enough to grow them, unlike here. Great big ones, as sweet and juicy as the buttocks that grace the header photo above. Naturally, I made tomato sandwiches, which are simply sliced tomatoes on white bread with salt, pepper, and mayo because that's the way my grannies made them. Deliciousness abounded.

But wait, there's more. This afternoon, R Man demanded a run to Popeye's for fried chicken so we had many delectable pieces left over. Well, many, until I got through with them. We haven't had Popeye's in four years, and then it was in the Houston airport. I had forgotten how tasty, tasty, tasty they are. Of course, I'll probably die tonight from excess grease and salt, but let it be known my last words were "It was worth it."


not chicken

Popeye's is a cultural icon in New Orleans where it originated and the offerings here are just no comparison to those bubbling out of the deep fat fryers of the mother ship. In New Orleans, I was one with my sisters who would disdainfully drive past the one on Carrolton in order to go to the one on Claiborne because everyone knew that one was better. No, these here cannot compare to those glories, but as I was tucking into my second thigh and reaching for another biscuit, I had to admit it was still pretty damn good.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Missing: One Diane

I'm not ignoring my blog, I am pouting. I tend to get this way after Diane comes for a visit and then has the nerve to leave. Never have I seen a week fly by so fast.

There is no friend so dear as one who will come to San Francisco and not mind doing nothing but helping with chores. One of the most glamorous cities around and we celebrate its charms by grocery shopping and a round of doctor appointments. God love her, one afternoon I took a nap and awoke to find she had made dinner. Greater love hath no friend than one who will whip up the nummies while you sleep.

We did make it to a couple of thrift stores and they were universally crummy. If even Diane cannot find any good stuff to be had, you know it's the store's fault.

Still, it was a wonderful time, no one is a better friend or guest than she is, even if she did challenge my score of the word "stagier" in Boggle. Jealous.

In Which We Take a Trip

  I was reminded of the following story by this charming illustration I stumbled across on Tumblr.  It is a sheet of blotter acid from back ...