Do you remember Thanksgiving? A couple of weeks ago? Some friends and I went down to Big Sur to spend the Feast of Fat in this place that was astonishingly sumptuous.
This is the view from the backyard.
To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, "I find it harder and harder every day to live up to Northern California's excessive prettiness." Sometimes it's sort of oppressive, much like what I assume dating this guy might be like.
I made turkey and cornbread dressing and gravy, all of which was totally delicious, if I say so myself, and our friend J made pulled pork for sammiches, which was even more tasty and the place even had a dance floor where mrpeenee demonstrated the moves that made him the terror of bars throughout the 80s
and there was a giant soaking jacuzzi tub for after dancing. All fabulous. And that's when the cocaine came out.
Oh my little schnitzels, I haven't done any coke since Ronald Reagan was president, but it turns out I can still snorfle it up like a Dyson. My co-miscreants, all of whom are considerably younger than me and were not around for the Liza Minnelli years were most impressed. Apparently they had fallen for my respectable facade all these years.
Equally impressive to them was at the very end, when there was only smallish pile left and someone (NOT ME) spilled water on it. I had only the briefest pause before I announced "I'm licking that up." Who wants to waste cocaine? It was one of those decisions you make that even as you're processing it, you think "Probably not the best idea," but that doesn't stop you. And besides the feeling returned to my tongue by the next morning. Pretty much.
A lovely Thanksgiving.
Everything counts in large amounts. |
well, we know who grabbed the
ReplyDeletelarge side of the wishbone, don't we?
and pulled.
DeleteYou're alive! I had just alerted the Castrostone Cops that you were MIA. Or rather missing in inaction. Because I know you.
ReplyDelete"missing in inaction" That's MII. hahaha. Get it? That's me… oh never mind.
DeleteI think next time you should just make cocaine-cornbread stuffing.
ReplyDeleteDoes Ina Garten have a recipe for that?
I have a vision of Ina shoving me out of the way to swallow the table, whole, and it scares me.
DeleteYou know, I did Cocaine once. I was told that I was a Holy terror. Strangely, though, I felt like I normally always felt. SO why spend money on something that doesn't do a thing for you? Now a Quaalude, and I am open for business.
ReplyDeleteI've always been rather grateful that when I was young and adventurous, I was also broke, so I was never in a position to do more than the occasional freebie-sniff, 'cause I totally see what Miss Bankhead saw in that stuff...
DeleteOh, Peen! You and Cookie have just transported me back to the (Christmas) day in The City. I am older now, and "wiser"...but still got dem mems. Now don't be a no poster boy! Merry merry! Mo in KCMO
ReplyDelete