Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Blood and Porn



All I wanted to do was transplant a largish Pieris from one pot to a larger one, but the pot the stupid thing in was not giving it up.  I struggled and struggled, but the plant was stuck.  It's possible I got frustrated, I do that.  It's also possible I took a hammer and busted the pot to get the plant out.  A shame, since the pot was a lovely blue and white ceramic one and I regret losing it, but not as much as I regret cutting a big chunk out of my left thumb cuticle on a shard of it.

Because the skin on your cuticle is so thin, wounds there tend to bleed freely, as this one did.  The whole house looks like a serial killer's place after a long weekend.  Plus, I was scheduled for a manicure this afternoon and the girl I wound up with certainly looked at my bandaged thumb askance.  Since I secretly refer to her as the Butcher of Castro Street for the odd gusto she brings to dealing with hangnails, I wasn't really worried, but still, I was plenty to glad to pull into the bar where I was supposed to meet up with Secret Agent Fred.  It had been a long day, filled with White People Problems.

Fred was ensconced chatting with some nice looking older guy who eventually revealed (with no prodding) that he had been a model for Colt Studios back in the day.  I have an researcher's knowledge of porn so I was plenty interested.  He said had never worked under any nom de smut, which immediately told me he was pretty far down on the totem pole; everyone who matters gets a fake name, even if it's as dumb as "Bill Bailey."  Speaking of poles, he was quick to mention the issue he was in was the classic Men Who are Hung.  I wasn't impressed,  nice people don't brag.

He wandered off, despite my assurances that Fred is easy, and I came home determined to find that issue and see if was really in it.  Since I have amassed a collection of more than 1,400 titles that might seem daunting, but I looked it up on the Colt site so I was just flipping through looking for the cover.

Amazingly, it is one of the few mags I don't own.  What are the chances?  So tomorrow I'm off to the used porn store to check.





12 comments:

  1. Just avoid the pre-owned butt plugs.

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  2. We have five hundred pounds of 1980s porn in three tubs down in the basement. Columbus Ohio used to be the place where porn models and actors went when they were through with the industry because it is so gay friendly, and affordable.

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    Replies
    1. Columbus, the Shady Pines of dick models. Who would have guessed?

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  3. CSI: PEENEE

    hope CBS has it on their spring schedule.

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  4. Hope you didn't bleed on Rick Donovan. Jx

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    Replies
    1. I always thought Mr. Donovan was one of the gooniest looking proofs of the truism "all you really need is a big dick."

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    2. Indeed - but what a place to sit... Jx

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  5. Betty White? Mere days ago you compared yourself to Maggie Smith; are we going downhill that quickly?

    Also, I keep waiting for that shelf o' porn to collapse from the sheer weight of it all . . .

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    Replies
    1. I'd be more concerned about who's cast as my dear friend Diane von Austinnurg, were I you.

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  6. Bloody porn indeed.

    ReplyDelete

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