Friday, March 15, 2024

In Which Nursepeenee Considers Rectal Thermometers for Everyone

I am surrounded by the diseased and the sickly.  Everyone I speak to these days has some emergency room trip or doctor visit or just puny ass malady to recount. It is only my saintly disposition that keeps me from running in the opposite direction and sealing my front door against them.

Diane von Austinburg, as I mentioned last week, face planted outside of theater and busted her forehead open.  She then spent several hours in a "minor ER" (which I don't understand, in my mind it's either an emergency room or it's not.) Anyway, she got stitched up and sent me a very dramatic picture of her great big old black eye which I am not sharing because of my great love for her.

I did offer to send one of my groovy Day of the Dead bandaids, but she declined, which indicates head trauma to me, but whatever.  She also kept mentioning to the ER guys and to subsequent doctor visits that her arm hurt, but everyone's sort of brushed that off in favor of the busted open head wound.  Finally, they discovered she had a minor fracture of her elbow.  She now swears that she will be all better by the time it's time for us to wing off to Europe.

Next let us turn our attention to poor little Secret Agent Fred.  Fred has been through it with his bladder cancer.  His chemo has given him anemia which left him flattened with exhaustion, but recently he got a blood transfusion and that helped immensely.  Helped so much that last night we actually went out for drinks and dinner.  Woo hoo, like two big city fancy poofs.  We were talking about his life with the big c and he mentioned that except for 2 months in the fall of 2022 and then a couple of months this past winter, he has been on chemotherapy non-stop for the last 2 years.  Oy.

And our Chaturbate buddy Brainiac was knocked on his ass by COVID at the end of February which then morphed into a sinus infection leaving him snotty and sick. Poor thing.  He has enough on his plate running a feral cat colony in his backyard.  Thoughts and prayers, baby.

Lastly, speaking of Chaturbate, everybody's favorite model, Mikey, has been dealing with some weird pinched nerve neck ache for weeks.  His chiropractor is only able to deliver short-term relief and recently assured him "Oh well that's just what happens with your neck." The fuck you say.

It just makes me appreciate how little I deserve my robust good health.  Whenever I have to break in a new doctor, the chats we have as kind of a intake always turn towards all the sexually transmitted miscellaney I have collected over the years.  Their eyes tend to get an alarmed look in them as the list grows sort of significantly long.  And yet, here I am sound as a sound horse.  Go figure.

Healthy dudes:

I have a real weakness for pretty blue-eyed blondes.

Although I wouldn't say no to a chunk of dark beefcake.

The weather here abouts has turned absolutely balmy, if not warm enough for al fresco showers.

Buttchops of the world.

All the world loves a big ol' veiny dick.

I hate being out on boats, but if I had to be at sea, a well appointed cabin with a well appointed cabin boy would be appreciated.

This week is all about ass, ass, ass.

The end.


  1. Well, I had a hang nail this week....

  2. I was rolling along through life until last year when I was informed I had a lung disease that’s going to kill me eventually. Needless to say it’s untreatable. I am glad I lived my life as I liked. There’s no bucket list for me.

    Enjoy your health.

    1. I am so sorry to hear it, but glad you skipped the bucket list. Let us know how things go.

  3. A chapter of accidents! Good to know you're the fit one...

    This week's collection of mens reminds me I haven't had a good rump steak in ages! Jx

  4. You speak of four ill and/or injured people, and one thing they have in common is YOU! Don't be surprised if they hire an exorcist and stage an intervention.

    Anonymous, too

  5. Has that pretty, blue-eyed blond backed himself into a corner because he doesn't like the idea of your rectal thermometer? What's he going to do when confronted by a "big ol' veiny dick"??

    1. Whatever he's up to, I hope he wiped that work surface down before preparing any food. Jx

    2. I'll be sure to wipe both him and the counter down before we go any further.

  6. Glad to see all the bad news hasn't dimmed your curating abilities.
    You're also a decent docent.
    Yes, I did that on purpose.

    Of course, digital-ness has taken over our lives, but once upon a time when we used glass thermometers, I always used a rectal as an oral. The smooth, rounded end of the rectal was far more comfy in the mouth.

    Again, I did that on purpose.

    1. I refuse to consider where that thermometer has been.

  7. I’m just glad one of us remains healthy! I guess a fractured arm doesn’t give me the right to demand wheelchair service at the airport, eh?

    1. You can demand it, but only if I get to ride in it.

  8. I've had the sniffles, but not bad enough to call it a cold and I noticed my maid of all work shuffling in her chair in a peculiar manner as if trying to relieve an itch, which suggests Emma Roid is back in town! I wonder if the blonde man had some help from Jerome Russell as his collar doesn't match his cuffs.

  9. Stud #2 is callipygic Colt model Ed Ventresca :)


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