There are rules I live by, and these are not the usual old hippie hash like "be grateful" or "live in the moment." Mine lean more towards "don't get caught" or "clean underwear is always a good idea." But that's sort of the big picture rules, there are also ones that guide me in my day-to-day. Like how being on time is just not natural and possibly bad luck, or how important having a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies on hand at all times is.
I realize some of my rules are simply my tendency towards OCD rearing its ugly head. For instance, when I go to bed, I prefer to sleep on my right side, but I always start out lying on my left. Always. That's the rule. I have become particularly aware of this since my cat Toby moved in with me. Toby insists on sleeping with me, or rather, ON me, but only while I am on my left side. That is his rule.
These bedtime shenanigans follow a very prescribed pattern. After I settle down on my left side, Toby climbs aboard and curls up a thwart my arms with an air of "well it's about time." We then have an ongoing tussle of him trying to lick my face and me threatening death and dismemberment if he doesn't knock it off. He seems convinced I would be better off with a cheek that smells like cat food.
We only get past that point when he decides it's time to climb up on the pillow and press his ribs against my nose. This is the part of the evening we call Let's Suffocate peenee. It is also the part when I decide it's time to escape and I roll over on my right. As soon as I do, Toby abandons my pillow and moves down to the foot of the bed. Because that is the rule.
Naked guys who rule:
I'm so glad the only animal I have is Madam Arcati. Jx
ReplyDeletePS "Big watch man" for me, please!
There are evenings when I would be happy to supply you with a small, but determined mammal.
DeleteToby's just distracting you while Octavia's putting content on her OnlyFans site.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, too
As long as I get a cut of the fees, I don't mind.
DeleteNichts ist besser als willige Segler mit süßen GesÄSS :)
ReplyDelete(vvs)
Enjoy having the cat sleeping with/on you! Our passed away and now we have the bed for ourselves we miss him terribly
ReplyDeleteI understand. One of the reasons I adopted Octavia was missing out on cat company.
DeleteEvery night before I go to sleep, I sweep the bedroom using the GhostTube SLS Camera app to pick up on any ghostly figures that might be lurking about. I too sleep on my right side and I've often woken up in the morning with my head resting heavy on my arm, the result of this I silently suffer with a pinched nerve in my arm.
ReplyDeleteMy bed is crowded enough with the cats, if I have ghosts lurking around, I don't want to know about it.
DeleteClean underwear really IS always a good idea. I keep a spare pair of knickers in my handbag.
ReplyDeleteWell hello stranger
Delete♫Shoo-bop, shoo-bop, my baby
DeleteOoooo
it seems like a mighty long time♫
No cats here because they make me sneeze, sweetpea! We have only a dog around here who absolutely can not sleep in our bed! xoxo (I'd comment on all that gorgeous male flesh but it would only make me sound like a thirsty old lady!)
ReplyDelete