Saturday, June 29, 2013

I'm Already Gay Enough

I wish, quite sincerely, that I could more like our blog pal Jon, master of Dolores Delargo Towers and Give Em the Old Razzle Dazzle.  Gay Pride celebrations are something Jon looks forward to, embraces in their fullness and enjoys completely.  He is, even as I write this, cutting a big pink and lavender swath through the middle of London.  He is most certainly unlike me already wondering how to go out for coffee tomorrow and avoid Gay Pride entirely.  In San Francisco.  The center of the gay vortex.

I understand Jon has the right attitude, that the celebration is the result of hard work and real sacrifices by better men and women than me who struggled in the face of oppression.  I know the idea of a huge parade and citywide party that lasts for days in honor of sexual deviancy is one which would have amazed and delighted those people.  And yet, I don't want to go.  I feel, keenly, that I am ingrate.

Plus, I'm sure this year's shindig will be unusually full on.  A major victory in the Supreme court is reason enough to celebrate and the timing of it seems almost deliberate.  The weather is even cooperating, unusually balmy and California-y, after a freak summer rain earlier this week cleaned everything up just in time.

I still don't want to go.  My bad.

I think a problem is having been exposed to Mardi Gras for so long and New Orleans' brilliant grasp of how to have a good time.  That's what I want here, the sassy lack of inhibitions, carpe fucking diem, that full throated WHEEEEE.  Certainly, Gay Pride here tries for that, but somehow misses.  Maybe it's the earnest fussing over not hurting anyone's feelings that hides behind the curtain of "inclusiveness."  Maybe it's the corporate sponsorships butting in: "Gay Pride brought to you by Miller Lite, Citibank and Various Other Entities that Would Have Fired Your Gay Ass Fifteen Years Ago if They Knew You were a Cock Sucker."  Although they'd probably have a hard time fitting that on the banner.  Maybe I'm just turned into a grumpy old man who dislikes crowds and fajita stands.  That's it, it's evolution.

So I'm not going.   I am an ingrate and a bad person, but here's what it comes down to:

What we want for Gay Pride:

What we get:

So where can I go for coffee?


  1. nonetheless...happy pride, sir!

  2. Happy Grumpy Pride, dearie... Jx

  3. well said.

    yesterday, i had straight clients SHOCKED
    that i had no intention of attending pride
    this weekend. i told him to go be proud
    for me.

    1. Delegation. That's genius. Why have I never considered that?

  4. Your disliking crowds I can see, but fajita stands?

    1. Burnt to t cinder gristle AND you have to stand in the clouds of grease fire they throw off to buy them. What's not to love?

  5. I am (still!) a young grumpy old man!

    ...and proud!

    I think!

    Hey, I don't celebrate Christmas; I don't even celebrate my birthday and I'm very comfortable and happy with that... now!

    1. I celebrate Dorothy Parker's birthday, that should be enough.

    2. “If I didn't care for fun and such,
      I'd probably amount to much.
      But I shall stay the way I am,
      Because I do not give a damn.”
      ― Dorothy Parker

  6. You know, one of the great things about being an adult is, you can go or you can home and masturbate.

    1. Or you can go and masturbate, plenty of people do.


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