Breaking news from the mrpeenee Center for Pain Management. I have been using a transdermal patch for my pain medicine, but the patch was irritating my skin like some kind of medieval penance device. So instead, my long suffering pain doctor switched me to the same medicine, but on a film that dissolves under your tongue.
I'm on the lowest dosage possible, an eighth of a film twice a day. My doctor felt she had to explain in almost insultingly patronizing terms how you achieve an eighth. "You cut the film in half, and then in half again and then in half again." Like the rules of some complicated party game which she wasn't sure I was smart enough to grasp. I assured her that at one time I had been a graphics artist and felt that I could probably handle the assignment.
Earlier this evening I took my first dose with this method and then headed out for dinner with Secret Agent Fred (a side note: Fred was diagnosed with colon cancer almost two years ago and has had a very rough time with it, but just within the last month has been doing very much better. Yay.) I was recounting the conference I'd had with the doctor and her explanation about how to cut the film into eighths when I suddenly realized I had skipped the last cut in that dose. For those of you who are as mathematically challenged as I am, that means that I had taken twice as much medicine as I was supposed to. Oops. Cruel hubris.
There was nothing really to be done about that, so we went out for a delicious dinner and then I came home feeling queasier by the minute. I finally resigned myself to the inevitable and puked. It was a pretty impressive spew, but worth it since I immediately felt better.
In my defense, I should point out an eighth of that stupid film is a tiny unit, pretty much exactly the same size as a tab of LSD. I don't understand how some smelly old hippie could craft a dose that size, but this fancy schmancy, expensive pharmaceutical company can't.
My friend Bobby from over at The Chaturbate Mikey Appreciation Society (CMAS) claims this blog is merely a transparent excuse for me to whine about my life. Absolute rubbish, of course. These posts are insights, precious insights. Also I want to give a big shout out of gratitude to another member of CMAS, the always charming Brainiac who heard about my blog being deleted at WordPress. He suggested I try the Wayback Machine to see if I could recover it there. I had heard of the Wayback Machine, a site that archives websites, but I had never considered that my humble little blog might be involved with it. Reader, it worked, and I will always be deeply in Brainiac's debt. Thanks old chum.
A few absolute units:
mrpeenee hopes everybody is staying as cool as possible in these hellish times.
You know I love them gingers.