Saturday, October 28, 2023

In Which We Consider a Legend

What started the whole sorry thing.
 

Our dear chum Mikey (perhaps you might remember him from Chaturbate here) announced he had considered being a cop for Halloween but wasn't in the mood for it.  A shame for both him and everyone who would be so very glad to see Mikey tarted up like a peacekeeper.

That reminded me of a sort of involved bit of gay history.  I'll get to that in a minute but first let's talk about the complicated relationship gay men have with cops.  Typically, police are in an adversarial relationship with the gay world; we want to have sex like rutting dogs with each other, but until very recently and in some places even now, doing so was illegal.  And so, cops often were instrumental in breaking up the good times.  ACAB.

Also queers very often have daddy issues.  Lots of daddy issues.  Maybe they never had one and would like to fill that void, maybe they didn't like the one they started with and are shopping for a replacement, whatever: daddy issues.  And what could symbolize daddy better than the instrument and deliverer of oppression, the fuzz.  Look I didn't make the rules, gay men are both the benefactors and the victims of the patriarchy.  Ya get a little ying, ya get a little yang.  So ACAB, but also, Oh Daddy.

Into this complicated naughty world, in 1978, Colt Studios delivered the perfect product, a short video eloquently called Hot Cop.  It starred one of their classic massive muscle men posing and flexing and most importantly sneering.  At the time porn was typically short on info and so the video burst onto the scene with no cast lists.  The cop never takes off his sunglasses so you can't ever really see his face.  And thus a mystery was born.

Fans of the video rabidly scoured sources looking for the name of the beefy beauty. For decades nobody knew, but there was lots of theories.  It was the Zapruder film of gay smut.  Ferocious arguments blazed on chat boards comparing the mustaches of various candidates.

Then 2022, I stumbled across the answer in one of my favorite odd little blogs, BJ's Gay Porno Crazed Ramblings, where the author calmly presented not just the name of the model but all of his other appearances in different films and for different studios under his many noms d'smut.

The answer to the great hot cop mystery?  It was a fairly frequent cold studio model called Brutus (naturally.) I remember him but only vaguely.  I had no idea he had appeared so frequently in the police end of the porn spectrum.  I remember vividly that Drummer cover he did, but I didn't realize who he was.  I also remember the editor of the magazine commenting on the photo shoot.  He said Brutus was really into verbal accompaniment for the photography, to the point where one of the assistants had to leave.  The big bad brute had just overwhelmed the poor little teacup.  Well.

Herewith we present Brutus.

The shoot where his spoken word slam scarred off some assistant just trying to do his job.  Get HR on the line NOW.





Look, he has a face.  Who knew?



More copshop theatrics.  I remember this guy, I honestly always thought it was someone different from the legendary Hot Cop.



Unfortunate haircuts are nothing new.



Yes sir, officer, sir.  Pig love, whacha gonna do?




If you want to check out the clips from the original video, you can go here  It's worth it for the primitive synth groove alone.


So more gay cops for your Halloween costume inspiration

One of the all time classics, Al Parker in Weekend Lockup.





The massively massive Pete Kuzack.



Another old fave, Leo Ford getting out of a speeding ticket, from Stroke magazine.



I think this is Rick Koch.



Pigs in heat.






9 comments:

  1. My favorite "cop" is Zak Spear, he can arrest me anytime!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I remember Zak in uniform. It was very flattering.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. When I was re-watching the Hot Cop video for this post, I noticed there were a number of odd camera angles that emphasized his helmet.

      Delete
  4. If Mikey dressed up as a cop, you'd break the sound barrier trying to get a speeding ticket from him.

    Anonymous, too

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wasn't into the visuals so much, so I'm fairly ignorant. Heck, I had to look up what ACAB.

    I do recall that photo of your guy helmeted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He used to be big. "I'm still big I'm still a star."

      Delete
  6. Weird coincidence: way back when-when-when there was a science fiction time-travel novel written about the protests at the Sandia-Livermore facility. One of the characters in the story was Hot Cop, THIS VERY DUDE, being sent in to break up the mob. In the book he ends up supporting them and the 'No Nukes' movement.

    ReplyDelete

In Which We Take a Trip

  I was reminded of the following story by this charming illustration I stumbled across on Tumblr.  It is a sheet of blotter acid from back ...