How the Mighty Have Fallen. And the Schmucks, too.

Loverboy

I’m willing to admit I know almost nothing about Sen. Larry Craig, the congressman who’s considering resigning because he got busted in an airport men’s room (or tearoom, as we used to say back in the day.) Merely his title, Republican senator from Idaho, makes me automatically assume he is not one with me in my opinions and values and that is so wrong on my part. Also, enjoying the vision of him squirming through this is wrong, wrong, wrong. Is he my gay brother? Well, let’s see, it would appear we have both looked for love amongst the plumbing facilities, so, you know, maybe.

What is troubling is not some apparently closeted power monkey getting thrown under the bus by his fellow senators. It’s the fact that in 2007, cops are still setting up stings to bust pervs looking for some action in the stalls. Don't they have anything better to worry about? Plus, doesn’t the evidence they arrested him on seem pretty feeble? He tapped his foot and waved under the partition. Sweetie, I’ve been around the block and I am fairly certain the good senator was probably looking to have his tonsils massaged with some stranger’s pecker. OK, given. Still, it just seems harsh that tapping and waving are illegal in the Minnesota airport. That that is all it takes to get you hauled off to the Twin Cities’ jailhouse. You might want to bear that in mind if you’re ever traveling through the Gopher State (I looked it up on Wikepedia. That’s really its nickname. Telling, huh?)

I would also argue that Craig’s real problem is not being dick crazed, but being stupid. Considering what security in airports has become over the last few years, could you think of a worse place to go manhunting? Was he so sex starved he couldn’t keep it in his pants until he got to the hotel and the services of an agreeable rentboy? Again, I’ve been there and am sympathetic, but even I know when to tap and wave and when not to.