Adieu, Motherfuckers

The trouble with working for a federal agency is the weird relationship we have to have with the political world. The agency I toil at is an important dumping ground for hacks who have done some favor for more important hacks and now need to be rewarded. Have you ever heard of the Plum Book? It’s a listing of all the political appointments available in the federal government, appointments being different from civil service jobs like mine, where you have to compete for the job and then actually perform some function rather than just show up at the office. Currently the Plum Books lists more than 7,000 positions. My agency holds the dubious distinction of having one of the highest number of appointed positions in the government.

Each time the administration changes, all the appointments lapse and a new round of hacks is ushered in. Even as I write this, I’m avoiding an internet presentation of the current Bushy doofuses (or doofai, who knows) bidding all of us a fond farewell and reminding us what a fabulous job they’ve done doing, uhm, you know, whatever it is they do. Ruining the economy? Despoiling the environment? Alienating the entire world?

I can’t watch this. Just go, you fuck ups, just go. Get the hell out. Please, please let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Let me be clear, I am not so naïve that I think the new bunch will be bringing in all rainbows and lollipops, but these morons leaving now have been so hostile to what we as an agency are supposed to be doing, to our “mission” that just seeing the backs of them makes me feel cheerier. I’m going to go have a super burrito with extra salsa to celebrate.