Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Blackness Descends

Big doings at Chez peenee. Back in September I lined up our contractor to come over and paint the stairwell and upstairs hall as a birthday surprise for R Man, who was going to be out of town at a conference. He had been complaining that the hall, which is a creamy white with a big skylight in it, poured too much light into his room when he wanted to sleep in. As the Stones say, he wanted to paint it black.

Everything was going to be so cool - R Man would return from Dallas and be confronted with the black hall of his dreams. Unfortunately, our contractor, Jose, went back to El Salvador the week before he was supposed to start, got an eye infection and the airline wouldn't let him fly back while he was infectious. When I think of all the snot slinging low lifes I have shared airspace with and then they screw up my fabulous birthday surprise, it's no wonder I want to slap people.

So I told R Man all about my aborted plans and he very enthusiastically backed me up on revising them to include a later, uninfected date. Jose got back in early October and promised to call us when he could work us in. The call came in this morning and Jose announced he be here Monday at 8:00 AM.

Miraculously, we had gone to the paint store yesterday, so we're all set, all we needed to do was empty the closets in the hall (the insides of which we're having painted robin's egg blue.) Honey, you would not believe how much crap two gay men can stuff into two large linen closets in twelve years. The good news is that most of it is on its way to the SPCA for deserving kitties to sleep on. The bad news is I am wore out from dragging all that shit downstairs.

Also, for an amusingly ironic twist, R Man is leaving at dawn tomorrow for another damn conference. If I hadn't admitted my nefarious schemes, I could have surprised him after all. I do hate cheap irony.

9 comments:

  1. Honey, you would not believe how much crap two gay men can stuff into two large linen closets in twelve years.

    No? Well each time I bring my overnight bag to my friends’ house, I am hard pressed to find so much as a door peg upon which to hang my frock.

    I no longer attempt to open their closet door.

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  2. Be sure to post a photo once it's done!

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  3. Isn't irony a bitch? Just a big ol' bitch that comes and slaps you across the face now and then.

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  4. My walk-in closet is good-sized. And I've managed to fill it with a lot of stuff that I denote precious. But not so precious that I actually display it or use it.

    It's the one area of my life where I've got my shit together, literally.

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  5. oooo....I've always wanted a black room...and a robin's egg blue one too!
    Maybe I should just move into your closet there.

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  6. You wouldn’t believe the crap I have crammed into an eight hundred square foot attic. I recently graduated from the two linen closets four years ago. It’s beginning to look like one of those mazes of junk that fall and kill people and they don’t find their bodies for years. I just know my friends are planning some sort of surprise ‘hoarder’ intervention.

    Addressing the schedule, it rarely ever happens in real decoratin’ time. The best results usually happen that way.

    It sounds lovely by the way.

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  7. Hooray; I'm glad it's getting done at last and I'm sure it will be spectacular. Can't wait to see it. And where is R off to this time?

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  8. Honey, you would not believe how much crap two gay men can stuff into two large linen closets in twelve years.

    Only slightly less than two men can accumulate after 13 years. And I'm not even counting the dog toys...

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  9. "Honey, you would not believe how much crap two gay men can stuff into two large linen closets in twelve years"

    Kids it was so bad here, I had the hot water heater removed from a closet and spent $1300 to have a tankless system installed just so I could claim the closet for dishes, platters and holiday napkins.

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