Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Out of the Closet

How sobering it is to realize that, for me, the highlight of our recent redecorating spree was emptying and then tidying up the freshly painted linen closets. I truly am Martha Stewart in a gay man’s body. I make no excuses, I find it immensely gratifying to throw crap away; to haul off mounds of no longer wanted possession to the Goodwill thrills me. I took eight giant garbage bags of old sheets and blankets to Animal Care and Control, aka The Cat Jail. Even as I type this, homeless kitties are snuggling into high thread count flannel, thanks to me. I am a hero.

You know that home redecorating show Clean House, where they barge into homes that are awash in mountains of junk and then shovel all that junk into a yard sale and redecorate for the schmucks who were previously buried there? I am just the opposite of those schmucks: whereas they cannot let go of their stuff, I cannot get rid of it fast enough. Whatever their sickness is, I have none of it. Maybe I could sell a vaccine.

Just to prove I am not totally lost to sentimentality, though, part of this most recent round of closet and drawer ransacking turned up the remains of my favorite Mardi Gras costume. I made it by removing the arms from a baby doll and wiring them to wear as a kind of headpiece so they looked like devil horns. Some people were quire disturbed by them which thrilled me no end. Those will NEVER go to Goodwill. I think I’d like to be buried in them, please.

10 comments:

  1. I do love the feeling I get when donating to Good Will. I need to do more of it though. I'm due for another sweep thru the apartment!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought Martha Stewart WAS a gay man!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish I could be half the man that Martha is.

    And all cats deserve at least 600 thread count sheets. It's the only humane thing to do, so God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've right-clicked and saved the photo as I'm sure I'll find a use for it some day.

    And thank you for thinking of the kittehs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mr. P IS a hero, and an inspiration. Especially in that hat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't have stuff piled up to my earlobes - not even to my nipples - but I do have some difficulty in parting with perfectly useable stuff. So I'll be lining up for that vaccine when it is available.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kevin made me LOL.

    I was just at the Goodwill. $90 later.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. I cannot believe I have never seen that headdress. Every time I thinkn I know all, you prove me wrong!

    ReplyDelete
  9. OMG that photo made me laugh out loud!!!

    FABULOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nice, it’s like some sort of conjoined twins growing out of your forehead.

    ReplyDelete

In Which We Take a Trip

  I was reminded of the following story by this charming illustration I stumbled across on Tumblr.  It is a sheet of blotter acid from back ...