Saturday, March 27, 2010

Blue Skies, Shinin' on Me

I've been listening to lots of Dinah Washington lately.
Especially the old Gershwin song, Blue Skies. Just last week, while ambling over to some enchiladas for lunch, I was singing the bit about

"Never saw the sun shinin' so bright,
Never saw things goin' so right"

Obviously, I was riding for a fall, at least that's what I thought looking back on my carefree, humming along days when we discovered on Wednesday that R Man has a tumor in his lung.

Since we bought our house 13 years ago, R Man has had to endure cancer, pancreatitis, open heart surgery, and George Bush. I think I can be excused for thinking "Isn't it somebody else's turn?" Apparently not. We're scheduled for a biopsy on Tuesday to see what's up in lungland.

I know from past experience when I'm confronted with bad news, I immediately panic, flailing around mentally the better to imagine all sorts of terrible things; once that passes (fortunately, pretty quickly. It's just lucky that I don't have the attention span for long term consternation,) I drop into a sort of myopic numbness. One step at a time, just focusing on what I have to get through right now.

I also start cleaning. By the time R Man recovered from his heart surgery, our house gleamed, the envy of Martha Stewart. At one point, I vacuumed the window screens. And not just our little home. While trapped in various waiting rooms, I will straighten magazines, throw away trash and, if stuck there long enough, rearrange the furniture to my liking. I have, more than once, considered asking for a hammer so that I could re-hang the art. Receptionists all over San Francisco look at me warily when we show up now.

Do I think everything is going to be OK? Oddly, I do, sincerely. The good thing about getting through bad times is that you're sort of toughened up for new ones. We'll see. Anyway, I gotta go, I think I need to scour the bathtub.

16 comments:

  1. Caro - the song that's been on my mind lately isn't Dinah, but Noël: "There are Bad Times Just Around the Corner," to be specific. Keep us posted, keep cleaning, and take care of both you.

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  2. Darling, since this Joan Crawforditis is inevitable, would you mind stopping by my place this week? And when you polish the floor, remember to move the tree!

    Seriously, sweetie, thinking of you and R-Man...

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  3. oh no....well, I'm a (lapsedish) catholic at heart, so I will be saying my prayers for him and you both (I can't help it, it's what I do when I hear troubling news)

    It got us through George Bush, didn't it?

    I just hope it helps more quickly and better this time.

    truly.

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  4. My thoughts are with you both, those of us who love you out here in the blogosphere will be pulling for R-Man.

    Oh, and I've used the heel of my shoe to hammer in a nail, works like a charm. Most people hang their pictures too high for my taste.

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  5. Your singing of happy songs seems to bring bad news; Muscato must be on to something. Poor R-Man barely recovers from one episode before another one begins like a continuing saga on the Health channel.

    Like Jason said, I tend to snap into prayer mode upon hearing serious health news it’s a Baptist thing. I hope R-Man bounces through this episode easily. He’s seems to be resilient.

    Is there any chance you guys will be referred to a specialist in my area? The waiting rooms are atrocious around here.

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  6. The lapsed catholics abound around here. I'm thinking of you both and wish you and R-Man the quickest of recoveries.

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  7. On behalf of the Chicago lapsed Catholic contingent I send prayers and lit holy candles. Thinking of you and R-man and wishing the best possible outcome. Major suck. The lung thing, I mean, not the possible outcome. hugs.

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  8. My heart goes out to you... I know you must be sick with worry. You are both in my heart & I am sending you warm light.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02-8boTzMyM

    I am about to spend some time in waiting rooms... maybe you can help me out.

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  9. I never really had a specific religion so I'll just say all the prayers -- and send tons of love your way.

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  10. let r man know i'm sending him my love from melbourne/oz. please keep us posted

    marc

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  11. The lapsed Catholic AND Church of England queers from Adelaide, South Australia are saying their prayers, my love.
    Chris & Marcus xxx

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  12. My fave Dinah Washington lyric is as follows (regarding her dentist):

    Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
    You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much


    Don't make me come over there and hug you.

    And if you're still in cleaning mode, I have floors that need scrubbing.

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  13. Peenee,

    Please accept my belated thoughts and prayers of the beloved R Man's news. I'm keeping both of you in my prayers and thoughts. I shall ask God to watch over R Man and his illness. AND I am asking the all mighty to look in at you, make your heart less heavy, the strength to keep up your strength and all of that. Seriously. Nothing cheeky or flip, just good prayers, vibrations, karma, whatever you need to get through a day. Love to both, Stu

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  14. Miss J will keep and R Man and the Peen in her prayers.

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  15. Oh, my...Sending love and light to your little household...

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