All I wanted was to pick up some milk, bread, oranges and several large bags of cookies. How was I to know Safeway was a stop-off for the casting call of Night of the Living Dead? Every single aisle blocked by shambling zombies IN MY WAY. Also, apparently, a bunch of tourists, foreign to our way of life, stunned by the splendor and majesty of the bagel selection. Look bitches, my list of Very Important Things To Do Right Now does not include standing stuck behind you while you ponder the attributes of different fish sticks.
Plus, while I appreciate Safeway organizing their stores into adorable sections like "Breakfast" and "Housewares" why do I always wind up with something I need that is hidden on the "Random Shit" aisle?
you shoulda gone to Schwegmann's
ReplyDeleteAt least they had a bar.
ReplyDeleteYou should have your pool boy do the grocery shopping.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the slow & indecisive even being allowed out at this very busy time of year?
ReplyDeleteI thought you had houseboys for this sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteThis, best beloved, is why you should stay away from Safeway. And also Rainbow. Just sayin'
ReplyDeletewhy we have "night of the living dead" stores here in the twin cities too!
ReplyDeleteI swear that we were separated at birth...
ReplyDeleteI've taken a random shit on occasion.
ReplyDelete