Saturday, July 16, 2011

How mrpeenee Spent My Summer Vacation

Usually I don't put up new posts because I am a lazy slug, but since returning from Los Angeles, I've felt that I couldn't move on until I actually post something about the trip. Plus, I am a lazy slug. Herewith, mrpeenee's LA confidential. Progress on my slug-like state seems unlikely.

Our flight attendant was totally booty-licious.
I kept referring to him as our "stewardess" which I know is technically incorrect, but Miss Lady Girlfriend was nellier than even I, so it seems OK. His name was Marche (or possibly Marshay) which led to my repeated incantations of "Marche, Marche, Marche." Our attendant coming back lip synched the safety instruction tape. People applauded.

The weather was mild, we went swimming at night (which I love,) the bougainvillea was spectacular.

We hit the boy bars in West Hollywood, where we were staying, and I drank cocktails. The bartender at Mickey's was making up fake drinks to set out on the bar (who knows why? It's that kind of place.) He seemed embarrassed that I wanted to take his picture, but he has nipples like gumdrops, so what does he expect?

Frank Gehry designed a building that features a four story pair of binoculars by Claes Oldenberg in either Santa Monica or Venice. I can't tell them apart, says the Northern California snob, and I'm too lazy to look it up. I wanted to show Secret Agent Fred, but I had left the address in the hotel, so I asked Fred to text our friend John to ask him to Google it. John texted back "Tell the heiress to go buy a goddam smartphone." Bitch. I managed to find it anyway, because I am triumph incarnate. The building is going to be the new L.A. headquarters for Google. Isn't that brilliant? I hope they can afford a new paint job for the binoculars.

I took more pictures of the way too cool restaurant at LAX than I did of anything else the whole trip. I thought it was still closed, but it turns out it's been re-opened, so we blew in for drinks.
The place is, obviously, Judy Jetson cool, but the renovation it suffered somewhere down the line is tragic. As 80's as a Cyndi Lauper tribute band with these ridiculously inappropriate diner style tables and chairs. Somewhere there is a designer who should be dragged out and shot for this.


  1. Oh my heart is breaking seeing that horrible renovation there....but thankfully your Marche cheers me up.

    Better than the Paula Deen knockoff in our plane.

  2. All of Los Angeles is still buzzing with surprised delight that someone from NorCal deigned to visit us!

    A good time was had by me!

  3. Looks like a faboo time was had!

    And I love John . . . .

  4. Googie-licious on the outside.

    That's Googie, not Google.

  5. you travel well, like the true celebrity that you are. salut!

  6. Shante, sashay, Marche!

    This was a lovely travelogue but you know your bitches want THE DIRT! So start dishing, Missy!

  7. maybe you should start doing tours too?

  8. Umm. . .I got lost somewhere between Marche's first-class booty and the second-rate renovation of Judy Jetson's fave burger stand. . .but. . .

    . . .Did you say you were Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Incarnate?

    That can't be right. . .Saki wouldn't allow it. . . unless he was getting 20 percent of the gross as your manager. . .but then he'd have his own suite at the Mark Hamill. . .and you'd be working some lounge or corner in Vegas. . .or Laughlin. . .that booty was sooooo discombob, er, disco ball bo, er, distracting!

  9. Booty licious indeed and there seems to be a slight protrusion in the trouser department too, the male equivalent of the camel's foot.

    MJ, actress Googie Withers?

  10. God rest Googie.
    What a lovely tour of LALALAND.
    The bar boy looks sweet. and i just love the pink flowers....

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  12. Well I am jealous. I WANT TO GO ON A FUN TRIP!

  13. Miss Janey SO REGRETS missing Mr. P when he was in town.

  14. I love the google bit. Somehow I think you are leaving out the bit about meeting the stewardess at the bath house. Then having lunch with her at Judy's.


In Which We Take a Trip

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