6 Pack Tag

I always make a lot of grumbling noise about being tagged by my fellow bloggites, but I’m really just making that up because that’s what everybody does when they’re tagged.   In reality, being faced with another chance to expound on myself is irresistible because what could be more interesting than me?  So let me just say a big thanks to   Miss Janey for her latest tag.  Here’s the rundown:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So is this one of them satanic, mark o’ the beast thingies?  If so, I say right on, cause I am sick of all this crappy christmas stuff.

I hereby tag Café Muscato, Are You There Blog, TJB, Mean Dirty Pirate, Michael guy, aka Troublespot and tigeryogiji.  I can't link on our IMac, just look over at the list on the side.

 

Random things:

Like some bad David Sedaris ripoff, I made some spending money in Santa’s Village, not turning tricks as some stupid elf, but as Santa himself.  Not once, but twice, in 1974 and 1975.  At the time I was 6’3” and weighed about 170.  I was built more along the lines of a candy cane than Father Christmas, but I shoved two pillows under the costume and lived to tell the story.
 
I played tuba for seven years and never learned how to read music.  The whole thing was like some code I just couldn’t break. I would just listen to the rest of the bass section until I figured out what the line was supposed to sound like and then play be ear.
 
As a room service waiter in New Orleans, I delivered a bottle of champagne to Ron Ely.  I was so horny for him as a young girlyboy. The opportunity to see him in person (I was hoping for the loincloth) thrilled me, but he wasn’t in the room, so not only did I not get to see him, I got stiffed on the tip.  Bastard.
 
I really can name all seven dwarves AND all seven deadly sins.  While I have never had the pleasure of meeting the dwarves, I am very well acquainted with each and every sin.
 
I hate Ingmar Bergman movies.  I find them as emotionally involving as opening the freezer door and staring inside for ninety minutes.
 
My brother had to explain to me that words to the Tubes’ song were “White punks on dope,” and not “White pumps are gauche,” as I had thought.  I believe my confusion says more about me than the Tubes vocal talents.

New Tag

I got tired of ignoring the tag/meme thingies that came my way and have decided to make up one of my own. Allow me to present the Mrpeenee Auto Haiku Tag Meme tm.

Here’s how it goes:

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of. Bonus points if you have to show off your Google skills because you can’t remember the name of it and all you can come up with is that it features Roz Russell and Sandra Dee. Turns out it was some tripe called Rosie! Exclamation point the producers’ idea, not mine.

“Auntie Mame leavings.”

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.

“He pushed my head down. I puked.”

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had. Extra bonus points if it consists of Grim. Taxi dancer. Miss Janey, I’m talking to you. I had a miserable spell where I sat all alone in an empty office, handing out the keys to various hell holes for rent around New Orleans. One Lady came back and complained there was no window in the kitchen, I pretended to sympathize and said something like “Yes it would be nasty to have no light and air in there.” She replied “No, hone, you don unnerstan. Dere’s a hole for de winna but ain’t no winna in it.”

“Slum lord in training.”

Put it all together and you have a haiku of life’s low points.

“Auntie Mame leavings.
He pushed my head down. I puked.
Slum lord in training.”


I tag Muscato, Jason, Are You There Blog, Miss Janey and tigeryogiji.