Friday, October 10, 2008

Fleet - It's Not Just an Enema Anymore

EEEEEK! RUN FOR YOUR GODDAM LIVES! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED! BOMBERS! Oh wait, it's just the Blue Angels and they're not attacking, they're rehearsing for the big air show this weekend as part of San Francisco's Fleet Week. And by "rehearsing" I mean flying so low you can see which pilots have bad acne and which ones have Tom Cruise's picture taped up inside the cockpit. They fly some super bad, super loud bomber that makes such a racket, they set off car alarms as they swoop by. Each year when they blow into town there is a local tradition of anti-Blue Angels opposing the glorification of the war machine, wasting fuel and the danger of performing aerial stunts over a densely populated area. They are always pooh-poohed by neanderthals whose gun-worshipping johnsons are stiffened by the sight of planes almost crashing right above their pointy little heads.

In theory, I'm not opposed to fleet week, but I would prefer the celebration to include appearances by some of them Marines who keep getting busted for appearing in gay porn

and a booth with Dan Quayle in it, dressed in a butt-less sailor suit, prepared to perform unspeakable acts for five bucks a pop.

7 comments:

  1. I grew up hearing them roar across the sky every year at our local air show. I grew up near the naval base. They'd rattle the windows of my childhood home...you get used to it after a while, kind of like marine gay porn.

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  2. Yes, I know what you mean. I have forced myself to watch so much Marine gay porn, I guess I'm just inured to it now.

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  3. Thank God the Blue Angels are in your town. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep late tomorrow.

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  4. What is this "gay porn" of which you speak?

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  5. Think of it as educational training films. With naked marines.

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  6. WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE!!!

    Gay porn INSIDE a BLUE ANGEL jet!!! Think of the zero-gravity possibilities!!!

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  7. Oh that michael guy, always thinking.

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