Monday, July 19, 2010

Hush, Hush, Sweet Zsa Zsa

This just in from the always-cutting-edge L.A. Times:

Zsa Zsa Gabor surgery went well, husband says

July 19, 2010 | 11:03 am

Zsa Zsa Gabor had hip replacement surgery Monday morning, days after injuring herself when she fell out of bed, and her husband declared the procedure successful.

The 93-year-old actress broke her right hip Saturday after she fell out of bed while reaching for a ringing telephone at her Bel-Air home, said John Blanchette, Gabor's publicist.

Frederic Prinz von Anhalt, Gabor’s husband, called an ambulance and spent the night with her at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. He said this morning that thesurgery went well.

Blanchette said, "When Frederic called me from the hospital, he said, 'John, it’s bad, it's really bad.' " A native of Hungary, Gabor appeared in more than 40 films and became known for her multiple marriages and lavish lifestyle. Her late sisters Eva and Magda were also actresses and socialites.

Gabor has been partially paralyzed since 2002, when a car driven by her hairdresser hit a pole on Sunset Boulevard. She suffered a stroke in 2005.

"She's a fighter, and we’re hopeful that things will work out well," Blanchette said.

Gabor's daughter released a statement Monday saying she hoped the surgery and recovery would go well and that her mother's condition isn't dire.

"My mother is not in critical condition or at death's door," Constance Francesca Hilton said in a statement. "She was on the phone in the hospital today while having lunch."

If you want me, I’ll be in chapel, leading prayers for the last of the Blaessed Gabors. Assisting me will be houseboy/priest Grupo Cantibus

and houseboy/alterbitch Knockus Pooter


Also, ever astute Donna Lethal emailed me about this saying simply “You KNOW he pushed her.” Indeed, I’m sure Donna’s on to something here. Or maybe just on something. Still….

All this convinces me that when the Lifetime Channel (“Now, thirty percent more scorned women!”) finally gets around to producing the Zsa Zsa Gabor biopic, all the roles should obviously be filled by us bloggers, we band of brothers. And sisters. And nancyboys. Cause who carries the Gabor torch higher?

This is what I’ve come up with so far: Mlle. Lethal could be the young glamorous Zsa Zsa; I will assay the withered, elderly, but still glam Zsa Zsa hag, knocked out of her bed by the evil Prinz (played by thombeau.) And, by the way, what the hell is “Prinz?” His title? His name? A profession?

Mean Dirty Pirate can be the slap-worthy cop. Jason will, of course, handle the Thelma Ritter, loyal maid servant, possibly in blackface. We’re still working out details. Speaking of details, I see Miss Janey as a mime. What? You got a problem with mimes? Sheesh. Take your stinking mimephobic ass elsewhere, please. She’ll be great. Felix in Hollywood and Kabuki Zero, of course, will be Eva and Magda. Muscato, I think, can deliver Zolie as no one else could. MJ will be trouble, but then again, isn’t she always?

Casting is still open. Who shall you be?


  1. I only just found out that the great George Sanders was married to Zsa Zsa and then, years later, to Magda. Is it any wonder he killed himself?

  2. As I am Hungarian and glamorous, I will be Eva in the childhood years. We Hungarian women don't age and/or never admit it.

  3. I'm blackening my face right now....and getting a swig of whiskey and a cig too.

    I'll be praying a novena to Our Lady of the Gabors tonight.

  4. Mean Dirty Cop! With a big galoot quality. I love harassing old broads.

    Why have your hip replaced at 93? Can’t she just live with it. I mean she’s already paralyzed and she’s only gonna get a couple years use out of it. But then again...poor Zsa Zsa, is she ever gonna die?

  5. I'm surprised the beauticians from The Hair Hall of Fame aren't fighting over who gets the role of Zsa Zsa's hairdresser!

  6. I am preparing my interior motivations to invisage the great Eva as we speak. Clearly you'll want to include my big breakdown scene when I discover myself the be the only Gabor sister that was thrown over by George Sanders.

    Just remember darlings, all of my closeups must be shot EARLY in the day.

  7. Bring on the contracts honey. Miss J is ALL in. And speaking of all in, there's a priest Miss J would let all in, know what she's sayin'? He'd get her into church and she'd kneel. She could go on, but must she?

  8. kabuki says "it will be an honor and a priviledge. for you. to see me play magda. everyone knows she had longings for kabuki makeup and wigs. they only kept her out of them by threatening to have george sanders marry her." i am busy emoting as we speak. many thanks,my dahlings.

  9. Well, I'm bitter. So I'll play Francesca Gabor Hilton.

  10. I just want to be me, sitting back in judgment of it all. With Thombeau.

  11. Diane, let's do it! I'll pop open some bubbly.


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