Friday, November 16, 2012

The End Times, an Ongoing Report

My dears, we must be strong and face the very worst head on: Hostess Bakeries, purveyors of Twinkies, Dolly Madison snack cakes, Ding Dongs, and other fine, fine delectables is going out of business.  A strike by its workers, falling on the heels of its bankruptcy a couple of years ago has put a stake through its junk food heart.  A workers' strike!  Commie bastards.

You must know mrpeenee is an absolute fiend for Ding Dongs.  Their plasticy, vaguely "chocolate" exterior and whatever the hell that white stuff in the middle was: mmmm, heaven.  And now to think they've been done in by American's turn to more healthful eating.  Go stuff a fucking apple in your mewling little pie hole and leave my Dolly Madison twelve pack alone, thats what I say.

Reports are already filtering in of hoarding.  Can you blame us?

12 comments:

  1. Good News!

    It seems that the Canadian branch of operations will be unaffected! So you will still be able to get them on the black market!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's almost enough to make me relocate, but I'm pretty sure MJ would stop me at the border and make me go home and I don't think I have the strength to face that.

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    2. I’ll send some to you along with a box of Canadian Whippets.

      Delete
  2. Oh, when I was kid, I was such a
    slut for Ding Dongs.
    They ruined me for life, I'm sure.

    Sadly, I mean the Snack Cakes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it was the fact they were individually wrapped in foil. It made them seem so specially, in a tawdry way.

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  3. Over here we have "Tunnock's Teacakes" - an equally classy and nutritious delicacy. Neither the "diet police" nor Commie agitation have threatened those... Yet. Jx

    ReplyDelete
  4. as a child, i was drawn to the sno-balls. and my neighbors balls.

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  5. Psssst! Do you want to score a Ding-Dong? I don't think chocolate tastes the same as it once did, I bit into a Kit-kat the other day and spat it out, it tasted like candle wax. I enjoy the occasional walnut whip though I wouldn't pay £3.17 for a pack of 4 the dirty rob dogs! I like to bite the top off one and scoop out the white stuff inside using my tongue. Do you do the same with your Ding-Dong?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a Lady, I do lady things. I bit delicately into the front and ate my way through to the back, like a sexually repressed governess in one of Miss Barabara Cartland's epics.

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  6. In the old days, those Ding Dongs where the purvey of Hostess' creation, King Dong. Then, Clarence Thomas went and ruined it for everyone.

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