Friday, September 18, 2026

In Which We Are Screened

 

My natural skin shade is very similar to the glistening white of a potato's interior.  That means growing up on the subtropical coast of Texas came with frequent sunburns. I would get out of school for the summer and then get blistered, Step One, Step Two. I do not remember there being a Step Three. 

Even though those days of foolishness are behind me and I avoid the sun as if I were an actual vampire, I know those lazy hazy crazy days of fried hide could very well catch up with me with some silly old skin cancer. And so I took myself off for a cancer screening at yet another new doctor. It's all part of Mrpeenee's Full Employment for the Medical Industrial Complex.

And can I just mention once again how very annoying I find each of these new doctors demanding that I login to yet another new app to provide details about my medical history? Especially since once I have completed the forms online, the office will require I fill out the same paperwork in person. 

Anyway, let's just move on to my actual checkup for the possibility of melanoma (spoiler alert: I do not have melanoma). Considering how long I spent downloading and completing his stupid app, it really seems like the doctor could have spent a little more time checking out my pelt, but when they called the visit a "skin cancer scan", they weren't kidding.  The good doctors visit could only have been more cursory if he had simply stuck his head in the door and shouted "How ya doing," before dipping out. Once he had finished giving me the once-over, he reported with a sort of surprised and almost disappointed air that I didn't have anything wrong.  I don't care, I understand getting a negative report is exactly the best outcome, and I'm glad of it. 

Skin that deserves more attention:

Starting off strong in the Buttchop Invitational.


A curve like that is just meant to slide down some lucky cocksucker's throat.


Summer is coming to an end, alas.


See above.


A cowboy for my niece Amber.


The always alluring Marbys Negetti.


Meaty

19 comments:

  1. Good results on the scan. I'm usually a sun avoider, as well.

    Very drawn to lads #1 and #3, strong tan lines are catching my eye lately.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I can't have tanlines, I'm glad somebody can.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Same! I also have a naturally lily white skin [ass - yes I am inspired], and I also had a skin check this year, which I passed. Thankfully I had no forms to fill in.
    Obviously I was an early adopter of Coppertone! It stank to high heavens and stained the sheets more than it did me.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The smell of Coppertone is absolutely Proustian.

      Delete
  4. Photo #1 ... for a moment I thought that he's holding a loaded, used condom - impressive!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that would veer from the "impressive" into the "scary".

      Delete
  5. I've always been quite the opposite - through winter I fade slightly, but one day of sunshine and I'm nicely brown again. I'm sure at some stage I'll be called in for a screening (it comes with the territory when you're over 60; the NHS starts offering tests for this, that or the other), but I'm happy to wait.

    If "Mr Banana" at pic #2 needs a volunteer, I'm in - and the same for "Mr Beachcomber" at #4... Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so envious, I can get a sunburn by standing in front of the refrigerator light too long.

      Delete
  6. I have had two spots removed so far. I see a dermatologist every 6 months to have something frozen. I have avoided the sun for the last 40 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have had various bits frozen off over the years, this was just the first time for a comprehensive scan. Or as comprehensive as a 5 minute lookover can be.

      Delete
  7. To get a tan, I had to get a sunburn first. The tan wasn't worth it.

    Anonymous, too

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beaux hommes, très audacieux et désirables :)
    Phallus engorgés et culs callipygiques !
    -Beau Mec à Deauville

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just how many doctors do you get through in a year??

    I'm another alabaster sun-avoider. If I'm lucky, I'll turn off-white and accumulate a few freckles, but mostly (if I'm not careful) I end up with lizard skin!
    Amber's cowboy seems to prefer the shade too. Perhaps she wouldn't mind sharing?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I used to be a sun whore in the 1990s and Bergasol for me, was the smell of summer, sadly it has been rebounded and doesn't smell the same. I keep hoping perfume manufacturers will replicate the smell of yore. Now I buy Piz Buin 30 for the body and 50 for the face, I've seen what sun damage has done to one of my friend face she looks like an elderly dinosaur.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Congratulations on failing your cancer test!
    Me, I'll be over here bouncing dimes off Mr. Negetti.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My was chest is always stocked with self tanner. I love wearing shorts in the warm weather & (ignoring the varicose veins) I happen to have great legs. Thanks Mum! But even nice gams can induce screaming when attached to an alta kucker like myself. The faux color helps. Especially at 5 feet.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great news on your results!!! And speaking of great skin- that cowboy needs me to rub in some sunscreen all over!

    ReplyDelete

In Which We Consider the Neighborhood

  Back in the day. I first came to San Francisco in 1979. The Castro neighborhood, the epicenter of gay life in the queerest City in the wor...