The Cool Cookie over at Doing Hard Times in Shaker Heights not only tagged me, but sent in a reminder nagging me to get to it and including the astonishing sentence: “My last thought, tomorrow, when they knock me out for the gallbladder operation will be ‘I wonder if Peenee has whipped it out, yet...’ ” which wins the Jewish Mother Don’tMindMeI’llJustSitHereInTheDark Guilt Award for 2010. Yes, it does seem sort of an extreme method of getting me to finish, but whatever works.
Here’s the rules, even though I’m sure you’ve seen them on everyone else’s blog: “Share three classic movie moments that have, in some shape or form, made you buy things, do things, think things that perhaps you shouldn't have.” And speaking of other blogs, have you seen what this meme has turned up? Amazing the things people will admit to seeing, up to, and including Adventures in Babysitting.
For my turn, I’ll go ahead and admit my most significant movies are all porn. Really, is anyone surprised? Man on man adventures whose “dialogue” includes the line “I’m here to see about your plumbing,” never fail to thrill me. My three classics:
Hawaiian Heat introduced me to a star whose charms still fill my firmament and firm my fillment. Mike Betts. Mmms. So manly and beeyootiful and sullen.
The Road Home (which is also the name of some funky post Katrina New Orleans recovery effort) is notable not just because it stars the luscious Todd Gibbs, a ginger whose skin is so white it seems transluscent, but also because it includes a scene wherein old time megastar Ryan Idol portrays a priest to whom Gibbs turns for confession. Idol forces Gibbs to recount all kinds of shenanigans he’s been forced to submit to while Idol spanks his own monkey on the other side of the confessional screen. Thrilling.
The Scorpion King. Oh, it’s not gay porn? I beg to differ. If ever a camera lingered lovingly on giant man titties, enormous thighs of death, and booty, booty, booty, it’s this one. Short of The Rock actually taking a double headed dildo up his poop chute, I can’t imagine how it could get any gayer.
I know I’m supposed to pass the meme along now but a) the last time I did I got nothing but grief from all the recipients and b) no one is left. Everyone has already been tagged with this. So let’s just whisper a quick “Rest in Peace” and let it go.