Sunday, February 21, 2010

Movie Meme

Movies. Hmm. When the movieola meme started passing around, I knew it was just a matter of time until I got tagged. Even though I love memes, this particular one makes me feel inadequate; there are whole blogs devoted to discussing movies and they do so in much more erudite terms than I could ever scrape up. My favorites are Sunset Boulevard and Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown and if you think I am going to try and add my two cents to what has been written already about them, you’re nuts.

The Cool Cookie over at Doing Hard Times in Shaker Heights not only tagged me, but sent in a reminder nagging me to get to it and including the astonishing sentence: “My last thought, tomorrow, when they knock me out for the gallbladder operation will be ‘I wonder if Peenee has whipped it out, yet...’ ” which wins the Jewish Mother Don’tMindMeI’llJustSitHereInTheDark Guilt Award for 2010. Yes, it does seem sort of an extreme method of getting me to finish, but whatever works.

Here’s the rules, even though I’m sure you’ve seen them on everyone else’s blog: “Share three classic movie moments that have, in some shape or form, made you buy things, do things, think things that perhaps you shouldn't have.” And speaking of other blogs, have you seen what this meme has turned up? Amazing the things people will admit to seeing, up to, and including Adventures in Babysitting.

For my turn, I’ll go ahead and admit my most significant movies are all porn. Really, is anyone surprised? Man on man adventures whose “dialogue” includes the line “I’m here to see about your plumbing,” never fail to thrill me. My three classics:

Hawaiian Heat introduced me to a star whose charms still fill my firmament and firm my fillment. Mike Betts. Mmms. So manly and beeyootiful and sullen.

The Road Home (which is also the name of some funky post Katrina New Orleans recovery effort) is notable not just because it stars the luscious Todd Gibbs, a ginger whose skin is so white it seems transluscent, but also because it includes a scene wherein old time megastar Ryan Idol portrays a priest to whom Gibbs turns for confession. Idol forces Gibbs to recount all kinds of shenanigans he’s been forced to submit to while Idol spanks his own monkey on the other side of the confessional screen. Thrilling.

The Scorpion King. Oh, it’s not gay porn? I beg to differ. If ever a camera lingered lovingly on giant man titties, enormous thighs of death, and booty, booty, booty, it’s this one. Short of The Rock actually taking a double headed dildo up his poop chute, I can’t imagine how it could get any gayer.

I know I’m supposed to pass the meme along now but a) the last time I did I got nothing but grief from all the recipients and b) no one is left. Everyone has already been tagged with this. So let’s just whisper a quick “Rest in Peace” and let it go.


  1. Oh, if only "The Road Home" was that pleasant...or easy.

    And as much as your lyrical description of a certain "Todd Gibbs" is, I'll have to pass on that particular film.

    Nothing kills the mood...for me at the mention of The Church....well, unless I'm getting married in one or something.

    Ok, off to investigate some porn.

  2. Brilliant! Oh I wish I'd thought of this take on it. Kip Noll and Jon King were such GOOD actors!

  3. Three classics.

    I’m still awaiting my 2010 edition of Peenee’s Porn Compendium to arrive by mail in a discreet brown wrapper.

  4. I completely forgot about "Jon King." My my my...the countless wasted hours in my early 20's spent jizzing for his dark-haired hotness.

  5. Have you seen Ayem8y's film debut in 'Truck Stop Trollop'?

  6. I'll watch anything with the word "Trollop" in the title.

  7. Peenee, Peenee, Peenee. You know as I was gone under I said your name three times, and the last thing I remember hearing is surgeon, in a broken English-Puerto Rican accent saying "I don't know why he thinks I'm going anywhere near his penis..." and then blackness.

    But I awoke to THIS!

    I knew that under the skin we both had the one thing in common that mattered most: Mike Betts. GOD that man had the best butt and chest in the business. I feel faint at just the mention of that wonderfully muscle bound man!

  8. I saw Wallace Shawn in a NYC restaurant, having lunch with a lady friend. I marched up to his table and said, "I can waltz in like Ozzie, or I can waltz in like Harriet, but I simply cannot waltz in like Ozzie AND Harriet. It's far too taxing".
    I cracked him up.
    True story. One of my prouder moments.
    Thanks for inspiring the memory. :)


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