Thursday, December 8, 2011

Perhaps I am Uncle Sam's Bitch?

I got a check this morning from the United States Treasury for $244.35. I was not expecting a check from the United States Treasury for $244.35. There was no explanation with it, I have filed nothing lately, and have no reason why our government would be coughing up such an odd-ish amount.

Do you think it is a Xmas present? If so, I would like to say "thank you" in a very polite tone of voice.
As a former federal employee, though, I am well acquainted with how da gubment works and am pretty sure this is not them randomly getting into the festive spirit. If they are pushing money into my hands, there is a reason for it and I am on the trail of said reason. To that end I have emailed the office that issued it (Kansas City, speaking of random, since there is a Treasury office right across the bay over in Oakland. Whatever) a message couched in the most respectful terms possible. Again, as a former fed I know getting pissy this early in the game is counter-productive and jokes are absolutely disastrous. Also, this just in, using the word "fuck" in any correspondence with any agency: not a good idea.

So anyway, on the off-chance this is a legitimate payout to me and not some screw up that is going give me a headache for the next six months as I try to straighten it out, I am taking suggestions on how to spend this windfall. Ideas?


  1. "I am taking suggestions on how to spend this windfall. Ideas?"

    Um...isn't the answer to that question in the photos?

  2. Well, what could be some of the reasons that they have sent you this unexpected payment?

    In the UK and Ireland, they will usually do a mass refund drive before the budget in December/January to people that overpaid.

  3. I would tuck this away until you know what it is for. Then I'd blow it on something fun.

  4. Cookie's getting close with the suggestion "blow".

    That is "something fun" to spend a windfall on, in my opinion...


  5. Have you bought my Christmas present yet?

  6. I was thinking of something along the lines of a hearty and sincere "Bon Noel."

  7. Put it in the decorative surgery account, of course.

  8. It's "Joyeux Noël", with an umlaut!!! *sigh*

    I second Cookie's option!

  9. kabuki would remind one to remain hydrated this holiday season. Moisture is so important. Scotch perhaps?

  10. You could always leave the houseboys a nice tip.


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