Friday, December 14, 2012

Just Answer the Question

Dearies, so sorry to be sort of AWOL lately (did you notice?  Shut up.)  Aunt peenee has been involved in a bad patch of neck-and-back aches and crouching over a keyboard to knock out a blog post was just so not appealing.

In the midst of my personal Hunchback Festival, I had to go run a bunch of errands.  Isn't that always the way?  On the list was a smog certification test for my car so I trotted on down to a typically grimy little garage fitted out with all those oily garage-type thingies, one astonishingly cute technician and the issue of W magazine that had a feature about Chris Hemsworth.  Of course.  I do so love living in San Francisco.

To kill some time, I limped over to a hideous nearby cafe.  Lit with mercury vapor lamps, it had the same charming ambiance of the New Orleans police department's holding cells.  How, you ask, does mrpeenee know what the inside of the NOPD lockdown looks like? Let's stay on point here, shall we?

While trying to find an empty seat for me and what they cynically claimed was coffee, I realized all the management, staff and clientele looked like their resumes (or rap sheets) would include the phrase "sheltered workshop."  Prominently.  Amazingly, the best available table was right next to two very good looking men even more out of place in the joint than I was.

It didn't take me long to realize it was a job interview.  In a skeezy cafe at 5:30 in a questionable part of town.  Hmmm.  The guy interviewing was using all those pointless questions H.R. teaches clueless management, like "If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would be?'  instead of "Can you do this job?" and "Will the petty cash box be safe around you?"  There was lots of pointless yammering about "team evolution."  It's possible the word "paradigm" was let loose.

Since the interviewee looked like this

except in a navy blue sweater, or as much of the sweater as could stretch over his massive massiveness, I briefly entertained myself by wondering if it was possible that he was shooting for a job in the pornography field.  It certainly seems like it would have been an excellent career choice.  Then I remembered that almost certainly a porn interview would have been much more along the lines of "Let me see it.  Hard."  Which would have been okay with me and probably the rest of the cafe.  Certainly the barista.  It also would have been more useful than asking "What do you think your personal weakness in a group dynamic might be?" although that could apply to the world of smut too.

I do so love living in San Francisco.

15 comments:

  1. Which tree would i be if i could be a tree?
    One with Wood silly....

    ReplyDelete
  2. had the interviewee lost his leg at the
    knee, ala zsa zsa, as this poor chap has?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surely this is the only time this boy has been compared to the Sainted Zsa Zsa.

      Although, maybe not.

      Delete
  3. I'm thinking the "interviewer" has a craigslist scam just to lure hot guys to a cafe for a "chat".
    Hmmmm...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am on my way over to Craigslist right now to post my ad.

      Delete
    2. What do you mean you are on your way over to post your ad? I thought you had already done that, my dear. After all, since you have those billboards around town "advertising", I would have thought Craigslist would have been done months ago.

      Delete
  4. Eventually everyone who visits New Orleans sees the inside of the NOPD lockdown.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As a matter of fact, the only thing that stopped me being worried sick about your absence, is the knowledge that you were probably out having your oil changed.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i'm sorry, i couldn't hear you for all the thigh and succulent nips of the beef you posted!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I do agree, a candidate for most of the porn I've seen would not risk a "personal weakness in a group dynamic"... Jx

    ReplyDelete
  8. i believe anywhere you happen to be is just a litle bit of San Francisco. And people should thank you for that, so thank you honey.

    ReplyDelete

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