Thursday, August 1, 2013

Baltimore Bound


I mentioned in the post below that Ask the Cool Cookie has been helping get Secret Agent Fred's house in Baltimore in shape to be sold.  Cookie has been an absolute champ, dealing with plumbers, floor refinishers, dry wallers and various other miscreants.  He writes cheerfully about scraping off peeling paint and nosy neighbors and the fact that there are no working toilets.  He assures us that you cannot pee behind the garage because it's full of poison ivy back there, a report I, for one, am willing to take his word on.

Fred had entrusted his house to a property management company who seems to have taken their responsibilities with astonishing insouciance since they allowed two leaks to destroy the floors and the foyer ceiling.  Hence the no water policy and hence the no working toilets and hence Cookie back behind the garage.  I prefer not to dwell on what happens when one discovers the poison ivy mid-pee.

Nevertheless, Fred and I are off Friday morning to Baltimore (Charm City) in order to meet Cookie (I'm looking forward immensely to that,) pack up the last of Fred's stuff and attempt to avoid the poison ivy.  I have assured both Fred and Cookie I plan on pissing in the front yard, I don't know why anyone would be surprised.

Coincidentally, Diane von Austinburg will be there for a conference, so that will be amusing.  I had gathered this was work related for her, but now Cookie has emailed that there's a My Pretty Pony convention scheduled for next week, which seems awfully suspicious.


18 comments:

  1. Well, this should prove to be quite the esoteric adventure... Whatever shall you wear..???

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    Replies
    1. As always, I look to Divine for style leadership.

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  2. A. It is baltimore, front yard peeing is a given.
    B. If you do not visit the Pretty Pony event kabuki shall just die.
    C. Who the hell goes to baltimore in August for a conference? Diane von Austinburg has lost her mind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, the weather in the coming week is supposed to be mid 80s, periodic chance of rain. Not the ungodly 100 degree days and 80% humidity that is usual here in Bawlimore.

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    2. As to Ms von Austinburg having lost her mind, talk about old news.

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  3. Oh my goodness! I'm so jealous!
    I hope you all get crabs.

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    Replies
    1. There is an adult bookstore one block from said house, and I am sure that plenty of people have gotten crabs there.

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    2. I think I'll stick to the shrimp, please.

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  4. I'm jealous of all of you. I mean, Baltimore!!

    Have THE BEST time! XOXO

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  5. Kabuki might note that I am coming from TEXAS. Does that clear it up for you. It was 104 here today. Need I say more. Other than the fact that the sparkly, glittery, pastel ponies beckon . . . .

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and so do PeeNee and Fred. And crabs.

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    2. Girl, I find one of those plushie suits in your room and your reputation is toast.

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    3. This is the perfect cast for a John Waters film. Hopefully you'll run into him!

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    4. I have a reputation?

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  6. Awfully suspicious? Or uncanny coincidence? (Raises an eyebrow above one eye to exhibit the dubiousness of Peenee's travel weekend).

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  7. I must take to my fainting chaise.

    This is all just too too much.

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