Friday, August 4, 2023

In Which We Discover Math is Hard

Breaking news from the mrpeenee Center for Pain Management. I have been using a transdermal patch for my pain medicine, but the patch was irritating my skin like some kind of medieval penance device.  So instead, my long suffering pain doctor switched me to the same medicine, but on a film that dissolves under your tongue.

I'm on the lowest dosage possible, an eighth of a film twice a day.  My doctor felt she had to explain in almost insultingly patronizing terms how you achieve an eighth. "You cut the film in half, and then in half again and then in half again." Like the rules of some complicated party game which she wasn't sure I was smart enough to grasp.  I assured her that at one time I had been a graphics artist and felt that I could probably handle the assignment.

Earlier this evening I took my first dose with this method and then headed out for dinner with Secret Agent Fred (a side note: Fred was diagnosed with colon cancer almost two years ago and has had a very rough time with it, but just within the last month has been doing very much better.  Yay.)  I was recounting the conference I'd had with the doctor and her explanation about how to cut the film into eighths when I suddenly realized I had skipped the last cut in that dose. For those of you who are as mathematically challenged as I am, that means that I had taken twice as much medicine as I was supposed to. Oops. Cruel hubris.

There was nothing really to be done about that, so we went out for a delicious dinner and then I came home feeling queasier by the minute.  I finally resigned myself to the inevitable and puked. It was a pretty impressive spew, but worth it since I immediately felt better.  

In my defense, I should point out an eighth of that stupid film is a tiny unit, pretty much exactly the same size as a tab of LSD.  I don't understand how some smelly old hippie could craft a dose that size, but this fancy schmancy, expensive pharmaceutical company can't.  

My friend Bobby from over at The Chaturbate Mikey Appreciation Society (CMAS) claims this blog is merely a transparent excuse for me to whine about my life.  Absolute rubbish, of course.  These posts are insights, precious insights. Also I want to give a big shout out of gratitude to another member of CMAS, the always charming Brainiac who heard about my blog being deleted at WordPress.  He suggested I try the Wayback Machine to see if I could recover it there.  I had heard of the Wayback Machine, a site that archives websites, but I had never considered that my humble little blog might be involved with it. Reader, it worked, and I will always be deeply in Brainiac's debt.  Thanks old chum.

A few absolute units:

mrpeenee hopes everybody is staying as cool as possible in these hellish times.


You know I love them gingers.


What a sweet little puppy.



The mirror has two dicks.


Once again, I am pretty sure I knew this guy's name at one time, but it eludes me now.


Good heavens.


Naked men in the shower: it's a classic.



Yet another classic.


Peek-a-boo


When I add these pictures to the post, I have the option to make them "extra-large" which I find hilarious, in a low humor sort of way.



The latest addition to our I Love a Lug collection.














 


16 comments:

  1. "I'm starting with the man in the mirror"...

    I could cheerfully overdose on that lot! Jx

    ReplyDelete
  2. he's both cute and hot, a sterling combination.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent news about The Wayback Machine! I'm going to look that up.
    I like Mr Black and White, as he looks sensitive and thoughtful. And he obviously likes soap.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Wayback Machine is actually incredibly easy to use and it works.

      Delete
  4. You mentioned once about telling your story about your relationship with Fred. I am happy to hear he is doing well. Might that history be a post or posts in the future?

    ReplyDelete
  5. That mirror is playing games with you. Look closely - it is reflecting the underside of the model's tube steak. That's not the side facing the mirror.

    Glad Fred's feeling better. Your problem with the transdermal patches might be a sensitivity to the adhesive. I had that problem when I used nicotine patches to quit smoking.
    Anonymous, too

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't know....I think I'd rather any of these lads in a large dose. And now you have me wondering when I got sick last? And I'm a terrible vomiting person...one never knows if I'm sounding like a cat coughing up a furball or choking on a huge dick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure any of us are actually talented at puking. Maybe.

      Delete
  7. That is one fuzzy ginger! I want to blow up a bunch of balloons and stick them all over him with static electricity!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It was definitely the glue, the blisters it left made me look like I was working on some very odd tattoo thing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A few years ago I was stood at the counter in Holland and Barrett, an overpriced health food shop that also sells vitamins etc. I was buying some CBD oil, the young shop girl told me to take it sublingually, then she went on to say in patronizing tones 'that means under the tongue!' I thanked the shop girl for being so informative and told her that if she had tried harder at school she would have made an excellent chemist's assistant and hoped that the packets of CBD gummy bears I shoved down my knickers weren't rustling too much as I walked out the shop.

    "Here cums the mirror man" Anonymous is right, the fella has two banjo strings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have wasted a lot of time wishing I was as sharp as you, Mitzi.
      Sx

      Delete
  10. That mirror man had me fooled until Anon pointed that out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "pretty much exactly the same size as a tab of LSD. "

    Why I just said the exact same thing the other
    day to Margie when I ran into her at the Red Owl!

    ReplyDelete

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