Sunday, June 6, 2010

Enlightened Cherries with Chops

So R Man and Urban Street Pirate are in there watching a video lecture by Eckhart Tolle on spiritual enlightenment, R Man because he is seeking enlightenment and the Pirate because he is the sweetest soul on earth. I was invited to participate and when I saw topics included "Moving Beyond Thought" and "Accessing the Power of Now," I asked that they let me know when he got to the part about "Git Down You Funky Motherfuckers." I was then invited to leave. It happens.

It happens a lot. R Man wants to understand the nature of his being, I want to watch porn, the cat wants to play with string; there are many paths to nirvana.

Speaking of which, for dinner I'm making thick-cut pork chops braised in merlot with fresh cherries. Pitting cherries always leaves behind a scene the looks like something out of Dexter, but it's worth it.
In general, I'm leery of kitchen implements which only serve one purpose, but I'm willing to make an exception for cherry pitters because wielding them is so darn amusing.

The other houseboys told Eban Horalius the pitter was sex toy and made him cry. Honestly, those boys.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Home Again, Home Again

Oh, ma petit baguettes, we're home. What a lovely trip, but before I get down to griping about getting sick, bad food and fat fellow tourists, let me answer the questions burning on everyone's lips: How was Thombeau? Charming, ebullient, pixie-ish, totally the most fun to hang out with you could ask for. Other adjectives would include sweet, self-effacing, and smart, but you can probably tell that from his blogs.
Plus, as a bonus, he threw in his way cool and very leggy friend who signs her comments on Fabulon and the Chateau as Maggie the Cat. We had a wonderful and all too brief time in a bar Maggie recommended (she seems like the kind of gal who would be an authority on the best bars wherever she might find herself, and I say that with deep admiration.)

Diane von Austinberg joined us and kept Jessica company while Thombeau and I discussed the mysteries of blogging and gossiped about you. Both Thombeau and Jessica were filled with vastly amusing stories, I just wish you all could have shared in the good time.

So, back to the blow-by blow, and I do mean blow. The train from here to Chicago was just what we wanted. We had a teeny little room.

A lot of the scenery tended to look like archeological remains of a lesser civilization.


But some of it was lovely.


It was all very relaxing since there is NOTHING to do but stare out the widow and nap, two occupations I happen to excel in. The food was vile, they screwed up my grilled cheese sandwich, which takes real dedication. We finally skipped the dining car and grazed ont eh snacks I had brought along.

So either their attempts to poison me were successful or the snacks didn't agree with me, but I arrived in our very nice hotel room, greeteed Diane and announced she had to leave so I could proceed with a vigorous round of puking. Food poisoning. I spent the whole evening levitating between the bed and the toilet and wishing you could euthanize yourself through an act of self-will. God knows I tried.

The next day it was all gone, lalalalala. Diane and I walked down to Millenium Park and the Art Institute for lunch, so beautiful.) We hooked up with Thombeau and Maggie the Cat; drinks, laffs, aimless walks. Saturday we tried to go back to Millenium Park and the Art Institute, but R Man got sick, poor lamb, so we stayed in and had room service.

Let me mention here what a wonderful friend DIane is. She came all the way up to Chicago and we did absolutely nothing. She was very cool with that, so yay for old friends who love you.

Everyone else left Sunday morning, but we had most of the day to ourselves, so we finally got to the Institute and the park where they had planted out the most spectacular swathes of purple flowers. I don't what they are, they have square stalks like mint.


Then it was on off to Annapolis and a visit with my in-laws, over which let us just draw a discreet veil, noting only that I suffer as do the martyrs of heaven. I will mention one of the highlights of the trip was hiding from them in their backyard, lying on a cushion in the grass, soft warm Southern afternoon staring up at the sky through the branches. That was nice.

Anyway, glad to be home and back in the blog.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Bon Voyage

Darlings, it's just a whirl around here. Tomorrow morning we board the train for Chicago, three days and two nights across Utah and Nebraska and various and sundry other nasty little Republican redoubts. We're looking forward to it immensely. Plans for this have been in the works for months, but I was never convinced it would actually happen until tonight while I was packing.

The lure of sleeping on the train and days of enforced idleness is delightful. But wait, there's more. Diane von Austinburg is flying up from Austin to spend time with us, R Man's oldest friend is blowing in from Florida and I'm planning on lunching with Thombeau, master of planet Fabulon and the Chateau. Big times all around.

I know I've been bad about all that posting stuff, but I promise to better, as soon as I get back. Since our trip also includes a jaunt off to Annapolis to see R Man's psycho family, that won't be until June 7, but my dears, I'll have such stories then.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

News You Can Use

Howz tricks mrpeenee, you ask?

Well, let's see,

I plunge into the next week faced with a nonstop barrage of parties (business parties, get real.) I will only be at home long enough each day to sleep before hurling myself into the next round of shaking hands and making small talk while my naturally soft voice dwindles into a Kathleen Turner-like rasp.

R man's chemo therapy is going OK, but he's very easily tired and recently developed a throat and mouth infection called thrush that is painful. Fortunately, he was smart enough to score the drugs to combat it early on, so hopefully it will have its wee little dick knocked in the dirt shortly. The waiting room in chemo land continues to irritate me, although they do have very nice candy there.

My face has decided it would like to be 15 again and has broken out all over the fucking place. My doctor has declared it stress related. Certainly it has caused plenty of stress and made shaving a blood sport.

Our charming friends Professor Puffy Pants and Denden are visiting and I have only yelled at everyone once. I think. They don't care because they love us and besides, they're used to me.

The people I work with are lazy, fat headed, idiotic slugs, but what's new about that?

We went to a charming french-y restaurant for lunch yesterday spoiled only by the fact they played Stevie Wonder's Isn't She Lovely four times. I was starting to twitch by the time we left. In other music related news, I frequently wake up with songs playing in my head. That sounds more precious than it is, and I suppose it's better than voices, but sometimes it's songs I like and sometimes it's the hits from some crappy jukebox. One time it was Close to You. Oy. This morning, luckily, it was the dulcet tones of Miss Julie London covering My Heart Belongs to Daddy.

Best of all, our fabulous, fabulous couch has FINALLY arrived. Photographic proof provided below. We're both wild for it, me because it's so lovely, R Man because it's basically a big bed in the middle of our living room. Yays all around.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Blind Devotion

I was all prepared to write a emotionally wrenching post about losing my left contact lens yesterday at the Kabuki spa and then being forced to stumble up Filmore street to my optometrist with only one eye in focus, but I can't see to type without my contacts, so never mind. Houseboy Ton Amour has kindly agreed to type this from my diction, but since he refuses to use both hands when at the keyboard, I have no idea how all this is going to come out.
If you need me , I'll be here in St. Snark's Home for the Near Sighted and Feeble Minded.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

mrpeenee's Home Repair


Oh, my little popettes, one of the folding doors on our linen closet came off its track. Putting it back is no big deal, it is, in fact, one of the household accomplishments I am capable of. But this one resisted my best efforts. I did everything right, in the right order, in the wrong order, in no order and it still wouldn't fit back in. Finally I resorted to my favorite technique: shrieking like a little girl and smacking it with my fist. Turns out I'm gay. So now we not only have a door off its track we have a busted door off its track. Life is so hard.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The mrpeenee Story


We're thinking about turning our bio into a big Broadway musical. Or a puppet show. As long as there's lots of jazz hands

In Which We Go to the Movies.

  Thirty years ago, the life I have now would have been pretty much unimaginable to me.  My day-to-day existence is firmly tied to my phone,...