Gosh golly, quick, somebody call The Hair Hall of Fame Hotline, I got a hairdo emergency.
It all started so innocently. I went in to get my hair did cheerful as all get out, totally unaware of the horror that lay ahead. That's when it all went so wrong, so tragically wrong: my regular beauty operator was not there. I was so stunned by the catastrophe, I actually agreed to let one of the other beautician take a crack at my coiffure. What a fool I was. I should have known no one understands my hair like Jeff.
And now, now that it's too late, all I can do is weep bitterly. I've tried voodoo, the Psychic Friends Network, pulling on it, but nothing helps. I have to go find my goddam turban.