Sunday, June 5, 2011

Red Scare

When one is a middle aged homogay, there are times when the decorating sickness falls on one. There is nothing to be done, one must resign oneself to swatches. So let me tell you about my own particular Designing Women madness.

R Man and I had longed planned curtains for our poppy yellow dining room. He was holding out for hot pink and white stripes. Considering his very staid disposition, his occasional fondness for clown college style decor was always surprising when it reared its bizarre little head. I was actually all for it, but R's all-too untimely demise sort of derailed the project.

Since he died, I had periodically and with no great enthusiasm, hunted for fabric for the curtains. No dice. All I could ever find was excessively tasteful stripes and insipid flowers. One store where I described the chintz of my dreams, with monkeys and palm trees in pink and orange all but pushed me out the door.

Finally, though, I accidentally ran across a beautiful chinese style embroidered fake silk, with gold dragons and red thorn trees on a scarlet background.

I had our curtain lady (the amusingly appropriate Mrs. Draper. I'm not making that up) run them up, with a matching pair for the flanking windows in solid crimson silk.

Once that train had left the station, I found myself on a red roll. A coppery red mirror to offset the charming plum branches hand painted for us by the immensely talented Super Agent Fred.

A tiny tangerine glass vase.

And a beautiful oxblood lamp.

Lastly, at the store where I snagged the lamp and the vase, an enormous asian armoire in red lacquer waylaid me. I certainly did not need it. We had a perfectly good china cabinet that matched the rest of the mahogany furniture in the room. But you know, I never really liked that stupid hutch, and the armoire was on sale and it was red and all of a sudden I saw my hand passing over my credit card. The next thing I knew....


Saki scopes out the defensive possibilities of the new cabinet.

It's not my fault. It's The Sickness.


  1. Well, at least we know that Saki & your hand know what they are doing...

    love red.

  2. i'm gonna get me a
    vaccination at walgreen's
    before that virus flies in via delta.

  3. wow. It looks chinesey in there now. Like Grauman's.
    Me likey!

  4. I love those drapes! I always go back and forth - do I buy I leave the windows with just the plantation blinds....meh.

  5. Can you get your middle aged homogay swatch-swishing ass over here by noon?

    I'm having more guests arrive soon and I'm not happy at all with the state of my dining room.

  6. I love your new additions... Mrs Draper is so aptly named... Saki looks quite at home already. The red closet just finishes things off nicely

  7. As a fellow homogay who struggles with his partner's oftentimes clownish decorating snes, I must say i love what you've done with the place!!
    Very gay-sian.

  8. Oooh that new armoire is sooo pretty.

  9. Red is Miss J's favorite color. She LOVES this fabulous room!

  10. An elegant room that enhances the natural elegance of an elegant cat. Saki has trained you well.

  11. Now that our dear friend at the Chateau has gone and closed up shop..we are all counting on you to keep our little community engaged, lest we all become like Miss Haversham all cobwebby from lack of interaction.

    LOVE the red drapes! I had a dress like that once, with frog closures.. back when I had a figure that could pull that off, le sigh.

  12. I'm a different Will. As a great fan of everything in the red/yellow spectrum, including all the magnificent iterations of orange, I think the new scheme is fantastic!


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