Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bad News

Thank you all very much for your concern about R Man. I know I’ve been too slack about keeping everyone up to date about what’s going on and I apologize. Here’s the news: R Man has non-small cell lung cancer. It is Stage 4, which is really, really bad. He starts chemotherapy next week, he has four rounds of it at three week intervals, after that his oncologist will determine how effective the treatment has been at reducing the size of the major tumor and possibly eliminating some of the smaller ones. The treatment is only supposed to prolong his life and keep him more comfortable; remission and cure are pretty much not possible. We went to our regular doctor this morning and he admitted R Man probably has less than a year to live.

R Man has been studying meditation for a while, which turns out to be very lucky, since now he can be all Buddhist-y and stuff. He’s very healthy and feels fine, so it’s hard to absorb all this. He remains stoic, I remain cranky. Same old same old. He plans to retire, probably at the end of April.

I’ll try to let you guys know what happens; I think probably there won’t be any dramatic changes for a while.

39 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie I’m so sorry to hear this news.

    I had tears reading it.

    Spend as much time together as possible.

    Without getting on his nerves.

    It seems I have a lot of people that I’m praying for lately.

    Love and hope for you both.

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  2. oh fuck!
    will be thinking of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. oh my goodness. I'm so sorry.

    You take care of yourself out there. Seriously.

    I'm praying in all earnestness, Mr. P...for your Rman and you both.

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  4. I went through this with a family member, so my thoughts are with you both.
    Peace,
    Bob

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  5. We only know each other from the Blogesphere... & we are 540 miles apart, but I want you & your man to know that you are loved.

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  6. sending out positive thoughts for peace, comfort and love with friends and family.

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  7. For once I don't have a snarky comeback.

    A group hug from your fans.

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  8. Hang in there, you guys. And know that you are loved.

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  9. I came over via MJ's.

    I'm not sure if there are any right words to say that I'm sorry about what is happening, and I wish you both much strength and much love through this.

    I'll be keeping y'all in my thoughts. Best wishes and much serenity for you both.

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  10. I'm so, so sorry. You've got my love and prayers.

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  11. i came over via mj, sugar, to add my positive vibes and good wishes for all y'all! xoxox

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  12. My deapfelt sympathy. Enjoy the time remaining.

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  13. Burst into tears here. I am so goddamn sorry to learn of this news. I am with you in thoughts/prayers. I really am stumped for much more to say right now. Numb.

    You guys will always have my prayers.

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  14. The blog-o-sphere can't convey a hug, or someone just sitting next to you, just being there in case you need them. If I could get out there at the moment you just needed someone to be with you, I would, without question, without fail and without a second thought.

    Remember, the most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself. Its not selfish, but you need yourself to be able to be there for you, and for RMan. Get your sleep and eat well.

    Hugs,

    Stu

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  15. ayem8y & mj put up a notice..I am sorry to read about this situation.

    I think that meditation will certainly help because there are no answers to the big questions. We live out our lives distancing ourselves from these moments...
    sitting in a doctor's office listening to the sanitized medical description of a terminal condition...it is surreal.

    Grab every day and steal every moment and take care of yourself so you can be strong for him.

    These cliched terms always show up because despite inventing lovely imaginings in the afterworld, none of us really want to go until we absolutely can't take another day down here.

    Life is painfully short on dress rehearsals, you're on.

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  16. Here via MJ.

    You are both in my thoughts.

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  17. My father had precisely the same diagnosis: NSCLC, Stage 4. He was given the same prognosis.

    He had chemo on the same schedule: Four rounds, every three weeks. At the end of the four rounds, no cancer was visible on the scans.

    A while later, a single tumor reappeared. This was deemed operable, and the surgeon removed a single lung lobe to get rid of it.

    My father ended up living 7 1/2 years after diagnosis, most of it symptom-free.

    This was in the early '90s; the chemo formulations are probably better today.

    There are many, many stories out there that do not conform to the statistics.

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  18. What everyone else said goes for me, too! Hugs!

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  19. Mr. Peenee, Came here from Mistress MJ's blog. I wanted to offer my prayers and thoughts. Treasure this precious time. You may want to meditate with R Man too.
    (((HUGS)))

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  20. Peenee,

    Sometimes, words are just hopelessly inadequate and trite. So, I simply send my love to you both and will continue to hold good thoughts.

    xoxoxoxo Todd

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  21. I went through all the posts that you tagged with RMan and I found that incredible sweet, joyous and happy picture of the two of you in the photo booth. I love that picture because it just is beautiful and joyous and loving.

    For those of you who don't know what picture I am talking about, follow the tag RMan back a while and you'll find it and love it too.

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  22. Sending you both good vibes over the Big Pond. I'll keep you in mind in my prayers.

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  23. Mr. P,

    Miss J is heartbroken to read this. She is praying for you both.

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  24. Sending you good thoughts along with the group hug. Also a prayer for strength for you both.

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  25. I'm often touched and inspired by the way you talk about him...the way you love him. Bless you both.

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  26. Sending my love and support to the both of you.

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  27. I too am so sorry to hear about this. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))

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  28. my deepestheart-felt sympathies. While not local please know that if we can do anything - just ask. I shall try to provide a smile for you guys. I do hope you know the love is coming at you big time. One day at a time

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  29. I am so sorry you both have to deal with this. As soon as chemo is over I hope you both take a wonderful trip somewhere new you both have been wanting to go - all my best wishes to you both always!

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  30. I'm really sorry to hear about this
    *joining in on the hug*

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  31. Just dropping by again to lend a helping hand.

    I think I'll start by dusting the silent butlers in your powder room.

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  32. Ditto what the others have said-they spoke with tenderness and hope, hang on to each other.

    Cancer sucks.


    If there is anything we can do, please let us know, I'm sure we all feel so helpless.

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  33. I'm sorry to hear about your woes, Peenee. I call cancer the "c" word and it blows, I hope R Man can be as comfortable as possible. You guys have a rough road ahead.

    Having said that, please try to remain your snarky self and avoid the temptation to get sentimental. It's best to keep things consistent and normal. Good luck to the both of you, dear. xo

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  34. Wishing the best for both of you. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  35. Just plain awful. I'm so sorry MrP. Hang in there. You are loved and I am sending good thoughts into the universe for you.

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