Wednesday, May 9, 2012


When mrpeenee was just a mere scamp, trapped in the white trash swamps of the Gulf Coast, my how I adored Dark Shadows.  I would scurry home from school every day to be completely absorbed by it.  I was oblivious to its cheesy production values and clumsy acting gaffes (although I do remember the actors staring blankly at each other when one of them would blow his/her lines, which happened so often I think I assumed it was intentional.)  The glacial plot was fine with me, I was 12 years old and had plenty of time to kill.  I even convinced myself I had a crush on Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid.)  I think I must have been suffering some kind of vampire related temporary insanity.

Imagine my thrill when I heard Johnny Depp and Tim Burton (a collaboration I think is always inspired) had taken on the project of reviving the old hag.  Super Agent Fred shares my delight and, in fact, is streaming the original as preparation and has taken to orating the overly florid opening ("My name is VictOHHHRia Wintahrs...."  We're planning an a afternoon at the movies, but that might include She Male Sperm Whores 2.  You never know.


  1. Jonathan is so way hotter than Johnny.....

  2. Jonathan died last month in his hometown of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

    I wonder what he would have thought of this movie?

    1. Frid and Laura Parker (Angelique) have cameo roles in the new film!

  3. I only wish they hadn't turned it into some kind Vampire-out-of-coffin goofball fest.
    I would have liked some of the unintentional humor of the original...which i loved.

  4. But Bob, the original was a satire of soap operas. How do you do a satire of a satire?

    Oh, and the dialog of the original! They could talk for ten minutes about nothing - seriously, I mean nothing.

    Actor one: There is something that we need to discuss.

    Actor two: There is?

    Actor one: Yes. It would be insane to deny that it is happening.

    Actor two: And what of it? Neither of us can prevent it. We are powerless.

    Actor one: Does mother know?

    Actor two: Know? Whatever do you mean?

    Now that's TV at its finest

    I love that they are using my favorite Barry White song.

  5. I also used to rush home to catch Dark Shadows and Where The Action Is after school.

  6. Miss J used to watch it with her great-grandmother...

  7. Ah, yes. . .Dark Shadows, so named because that was what they used to help disguise the cheesy cardboard sets (and did a much better job at it than many of the other soaps of that time).

    And, since you live in San Francisco, will you be seeing "She Male Sperm Whores" by the seashore? (Sorry, couldn't resist. . .)

  8. I would rather see Tim Burton and Johnny Depp remake "She Male Sperm Whores 2" frankly.
    But that's just me.

  9. Fred must be my inspiration! I just added the original to my streaming queue yesterday. I plan a festival of bad, but beloved, starting today.


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