Thursday, October 25, 2007

Crazy Guy, Aisle 9

I was at Safeway yesterday afternoon and some crazy guy in the produce section just started screaming. No words, just aargh, aargh, aargh, one of those crazy guys. This being such a big tough city, everyone in the vicinity immediately turned and marched off. I don't think it even crossed any of our minds to check on the guy, to call 911 , to respond in anyway except to be vaguely irritated. Enough of this kind of thing and you learn that involving yourself with him will not relieve him in any way and only make things worse, certainly for you, probably for him. Screaming crazy guys are like car alarms, an annoying part of the background noise of life. I know that's so wrong, I just don't know how to overcome the self preservation instinct that makes me back away so he won't hit me with a butternut squash.

Plus, they were out of lentils. How can a grocery store be out of lentils?


  1. It's the same way in Chicago. About the lentils, I mean.

  2. its because when they are dried out, they last forever. and with the world imploding and burning and war all over, better have some dried beans on hand in case. hence, the shortage

  3. What delicious irony. Your deep, heartfelt paragraph about the plight of a crazy stranger...

    And the casual, shallow bitchery of Safeway's lack of lentils.

  4. Understand, the lack of lentils wa a much bigger concern.

    And joetohell, you should see our vast stockpile of spam. We'll outlast the mutants for sure.


In Which We Take a Trip

  I was reminded of the following story by this charming illustration I stumbled across on Tumblr.  It is a sheet of blotter acid from back ...